Saturday 10th October
TOGS Week 2

The 6 or so players who did not play a TOGS round last week in the mistaken belief that a quorum was not present when no such rule exists may regret this decision in 25 weeks time.   Then again they may not.

The scores posted today were simply stunning and an average score of 37 points is remarkable.

Larry the Plec's back nine of 25 is very impressive and his total of 43 equally so.  His handicap is already cut to bits from 18 to 15.   Le Frenchman came second with 42 points and is back down to 11 immediately, whilst Bill Fletcher posted a 40 and comes back to 19hcp.

Dave Rowntree's 38 points will be one of the highest scores of the season not to be in the top three.     Eddy Stothert's, defending champion DMC's and Rosco's 37 points (including 22 on the front) all merited handicap reductions as did Doug Walker  and Tony Sarginson with 35's.

Those who could not play today because of work, holidays or illness will feel that they picked a bad week to miss.

It's good to be back though, eh?

Wednesday 16th September

Vic and I teed off at 8.10am and shook hands on the 18th at 10.50am.   We didn't rush but were always ready to play and the fourball in front of us only delayed us a little on the back nine once we had caught them up at he 12th. 

I was four down at halfway but managed to get back to all square and with a birdie in the bank ended up with my scone in front.

Enjoy your golf folks.......see you soon and I will be back for Week 2 of the TOGS.    Will someone Email me the scores from Week 1 please? 

Monday 14th September

Daz, Larry the Plec and I enjoyed a game of chairman and as is par for the course a couple of outcomes were still possible on the 18th green.   As it turned out it was Larry who triumphed by virtue of his win at the 9th hole.  

It's a good way to play golf and normally has the crowds thronging Harbottle's path to glimpse a view of the action.   The hot dog man was kept extremely busy today and only had crisps left as we shook hands to tumultuous applause.

Saturday 12th September

I turned up and played but ...............................................................

Wednesday 9th September

In glorious sunshine I played a fourball with an ex Oberligen footballer, an ex Motherwell player and David who is 84 years old and still managing to play off a 19 handicap.   As is the norm it finished all square at the 18th.   The course is in superb condition and the greens were lush.

Saturday 5th September
Hines trophy

In this fourball aggregate Stableford competition I teamed up with Le Frenchman and we were as effective as a vote against Mugabe in Zimbabwe.    Playing against Archie and DMC we managed to finish all square and therefore no sticky buns were exchanged in the club house.   My email  tomorrow from Howdidido will, I fear, make pretty sad reading.

It's about time the white teebox on the 18th was tidied up.    It cannot be right that a right handed golfer is impeded by an overhanging tree on the tee box.   Before we know it there will be a bunker appearing or perhaps a water hazard.    Have I got the holes mixed up?

Wednesday 2nd September

As is usually the case it all went to the 18th green in our game of chairman and Vic emerged victorious against Daz and me.   2-1-1.  

The course is in great nick and the greens are lush, literally.   Definitely worthy of  8 /10.

Monday 31st August

My thanks to Daz for my beef sarnie & chips at lunchtime.   Just the two of us this Bank Holiday morn so we played matchplay with me receiving 3 shots on yet another very windy day at the coast.   My current good form, especially with the putter, continued and we shook hands on the 16th green.   Very enjoyable.   The golf was good too.

Saturday 29th August
Hines Salver

On a sunny, dry and very windy day golf can be tricky but I did enjoy this Stableford round in the company of the recently returned Frenchman and DMC.   Le Frenchman and I shared the spoils with 32 points and DMC wasn't so far behind.   In the grand scheme of things I would say 38 or 39 points would win in these conditions unless it eases off later in the day as forecast.   I am not expecting great news from my Howdidido alert tomorrow but should be in the top half of the field at worst.

Update:  

32 points was good enough for 32nd place and my exact handicap is now 11.3

Wednesday 26th August
Midweek Medal

Arrived at 8am but because of heavy rain Vic and I decided against playing.   I returned later in the day and played alongside Willy and Daz in windy but dry conditions.  The late afternoon start seemed to suit me because I shot a gross 78 / net 66,  won the second division with the lowest gross and my exact handicap is now 11.2.

Willy shot a very respectable net 69 and Daz did not have one of his better days but finished with 6 straight pars which augurs well for the weekend.

My card was spoiled by an eight, yes an 8, at the 16th.   A beautiful drive which split the fairway and 10 yards past the 150yard marker was rendered redundant when my approach went in Eric the chippie's bunker.  I thinned it (from a good lie) into the bunker on the other side next to the bench.   Took two more to get out and after crying for help from 'me mam' three putted from 20 feet

I walked onto the 17th, hit my tee shot to within two feet for a two, parred the 18th and signed for my first sub 80 round in yonks.   Funny old game isn't it?

Monday 24th August

Playing chairman with Larry the Plec and Daz, I emerged victorious in a 3-2-1 scenario which didn't look likely after three holes.   Two birdies helped pay for the cream tea by way of celebration.

Get well soon Pam.

Saturday 22nd August
The Donkin Cup

Playing in a two ball with Mr Flog I had a bit of a 'mare.   91 shots for a net 79 which, I was informed by the excellent Howdidido, left me trailing in 102nd place.   This is a bit like standing on an I speak your weight machine only to be told, "Get off fatty."

Wednesday 19th August

Played matchplay against the mighty Ridley and won most of my money back from Saturday with a 1 hole win.   The course is in good nick still and the wind was again blowing hard which made it tough even playing from the yellow tees.

We witnessed an unusual event as we were coming down the 8th - the sprinklers were being used on the 3rd and the groundstaff were hosing the green too.

Boggyometer reading 8 / 10.

Saturday 15th August
Professional's competition

Playing with Daz and Rosco and the wind blowing hard we were caught in a couple of heavy downpours so our scores of 37, 39 and 34 points respectively were very canny in the scheme of things.    Daz's 39 was the third best (equal) score posted and my 37 was 9th out of 120 starters.

My gross 81 / 69 net brings me down 0.2 and my official handicap back to 11.9 so I have to be happy.    Looking through the scores I see that a few wimps went off when it was raining.   We discussed the possibility at the 10th tee box but decided to carry on and were rewarded for doing so.   

Wednesday 12th August

Ed won a game of chairman this morning by a stunning margin of 3 - 1 against Vic and I which is just about unheard of.   He did notch three birdies but it has to be said that I was coasting at 1 up, and about to win the chair back at the 12th with a par at worst when I realised that Vic and I had played the wrong balls.   Vic checked (sic) the balls in the middle of the fairway and pointed to his and mine, which we duly hit.   He went miles to the left and in bother and I ended twelve feet from the hole looking at a birdie with Ed in trouble left.

Mea Culpa.   Each player is responsible for identifying his own ball and I didn't.  Oh dear.

Saturday 8th August
Wearside Golf Club

Partnering Willy the Tog, Rosco, and Arch we went round this magnificent golf course in  231 nett, the best three scores at each hole counting.    The winning score was 211 so we were a shot per hole from being competitive but enjoyed the experience very much beneath the folly that is Penshaw monument.

Wednesday 5th August

It was good to be back at Tynemouth playing with Raff and Ed and as regularly happens we finished all square in our game of chairman.

The course is in good nick and the greens were surprisingly fast compared to the verdant putting surfaces at Brandon Wood in Coventry where I trailed in 5th behind my favourite Welshman, Ian McHillier in the British Transplant Games golf championships.    Ian shot a gross 80 to beat the field by a whopping 8 shots which is outstanding.   My 89 was one shot shy of a tie for second place as was my 31 stableford points.   I had a Tom Watson moment at the 18th.   Thinking I had stiffed my approach shot but ended up in the scrap behind the green and took another three to get down for a six.   A four would have given me an 87 and outright second place and if my Aunt Fanny had had a willy she would have been my uncle.

Wednesday 22nd July

One of my playing partners today will celebrate 'trombone time' next month and you would never know it by looking at him.   Doug Spivey still plays golf off a handicap of 19 but more importantly he played 3 games for Tottenham Hotspur in the fifties.   In the same Spurs team as Doug were Alf Ramsey, Bill Nicholson and Eddie Bailey and in a match against Bolton Wanderers a certain Nat Lofthouse was playing for the opposition.   How good is that?

Ed and I won easily against Doug and Vic, who was a member of the North Shields Amateur Cup winning squad in 1969 at Wembley and he later went on to manage The Robins.     We had no option but to take the sticky bun and pot of tea - seems such a shame.

Wednesday 15th July
Medal

With sis sixes on the back nine I let a good round go begging and finished with a net 75 which makes my new exact handicap 12.1 and unless I produce something miraculous will be the handicap I play off in the British Transplant Games Championships on the 31st of this month.   I need to get out on the practice ground for a few more hours if I am to trouble my favourite Welshman in Coventry (or is he Scottish?).

My playing partners today were young Vic, who had an unfortunate but well constructed 10 at the 8th and Raff.

The course is still very good and the secondary rough is getting longer by the day which means anything wayward will be punished more than of late.   Probably an 8.25 on the Boggy-ometer.

Monday 13th July

My half decent form continued this morning in a fourball with Raff, Harry H and Doug Spivey.   Taking money from OAP's is probably not politically correct but that's what we did.

 Saturday 11th July
Medal

Gross 82 for a net 70 which is not too bad considering how poorly I have been playing lately.   A few more hours on the practice area and with a bit of luck my game will be finely tuned in time for the British Transplant Games golf championships at the end of the month in Coventry.

I had the pleasure of playing, for the first time, with a bass guitar player from Templepatrick in Northern Ireland today in the guise of John 'The General' Grant.    The General's 26 handicap will not stay so high if he hits it down the middle as regularly as he did on the front nine today.   Nerves possibly got the better of him on the back nine but it is only a matter of time before he bags a low round.   The third member of our group was the vice captain of the seniors team, the venerable Archbold.

Apart from some bad manners displayed by certain members of TGC before we teed off I thoroughly enjoyed my day's golf.   Where are the committee men when they are needed?   Oh, they are committee men.   I only hope that the meetings are conducted with a little more decorum than was evident around the ball tube this morning.

Wednesday 8th July

As is normal we ended our game of chairman all square.   Daz, Vic  and I teed off at 8.30am, which is definitely not normal.

Nice biscuits Pam.

The qualifying score for the last 16 of the club championships was 154, which is a very good standard.   Rosco is to be congratulated on his fantastic second round which gave him the best net score of 63 playing off his now defunct handicap of 15.

Saturday 4th July

In complete contrast to my game on Wednesday I have to say that I played rather well today.   Starting my round with 7 straight pars was good enough to put me 4 up in a game of chairman with the Cultured Caledonian and Doug W and is the first time I have played this game when that has been the case.   I couldn't possibly maintain that kind of form but only dropped a total of 8 shots to par for a gross 78 which is far and away my best play for donkeys ages.

This was not a good enough reason to be a last minute entrant in Sunday's club championship / Stansfield medal.

in the week of the 40th anniversary of man walking on the moon, "This was one small step for me and would be one giant leap of faith to play two medal rounds Sunday".

Good luck to all of my mates in the Stansfield.   I think a two round gross score of152 or less is a must for anyone hoping to progress to the last 16.

Wednesday 1st July
Midweek medal

What time do you call this Pam?

Yes, there was an almighty thunderstorm with lightning flashing across the black sky and the rain was lashing down making conditions totally unplayable but my 'no return' came when the weather was beautiful and conditions were perfect.   My game is as bad as it has been since I started playing and by the time I was playing the short 7th had already used up my allotted 12 strokes.   My tee shot (9 iron) plugged under the lip in the greenside bunker and having attempted four (failed) shots, picked up my ball and 'enjoyed the rest of the round in the company of Ed and Daz.    When playing badly I try not to spoil it for my playing partners and hopefully did not do so today.

My handicap is now exactly 12.

Goodnight Pam.

Saturday 27th June

I played in a fourball with the newly crowned wooden spoon holder Doug Walker the younger and two previous holders of this prestigious piece of 'cutlery' namely the Cultured Caledonian and Ed the Duck and thoroughly enjoyed the three and half hours in their company.   For some strange reason there was no medal of any kind on this morning so we threw the balls up and I was paired with the current incumbent and we salvaged an honourable half with our opponents who knocked in three birdies courtesy of Ed so we must have played not too badly.

The Cultured One informs me that his mother occasionally reads these missives so it is only right and proper that I say, "Hello Mrs Bavaird, I hope you are well.   Young David's golf is coming along nicely".

Next Sunday is the club 36 hole championships, The Stansfield, and I have to admit that because of my recent poor form have not entered this time around.   I fully intend to play again next year but having recently corrected the unmentionables but still not sure where my 7 iron shots will end up thought it best to err on the side of caution for this season and sit it out.   good luck to my fellow TOGS who will be playing.

Wednesday 24th June

Playing with Raff and the recently returned Daz my game was somewhere approaching respectable as I scored 36 points in a losing game.   But for trouble at one bunker where I picked up after two attempts my play was quarter decent.

Monday 22nd June
4'somes Knockout

J'accuse moi.   Apologies to my playing partner, Le Frenchman, for my dismal performance on the greens.   We lost 3&2 to a pair of very talented youngsters in the form of Paul Westphail (7 hcp) and Alex Clafton (10 hcp) who it has to be said played very well and just about deserved their victory.  

We pulled it back to two down at 14 and I had a 25 foot putt for a birdie at 15 which came up way short and left my mate a 12 footer to salvage a half.   He just missed and we went dormie with three to play and the young 'uns got a match winning par 4 to move into the next round.

I could be croque monsieur.

Friday 19th June - Sunday 21st June
Togs on Tour

Venue - Aldwark Manor - North Yorkshire

What a fantastic weekend away at Aldwark Manor.   The venue, facilities and golf course combined with good weather probably made this the best ever TOGS on Tour championship.   Well done Willy.  

The work that Willy the TOG puts in on our behalf over the course of the whole season is appreciated by all of us and that he goes the extra mile to oversee our weekend away probably prevents him playing his best golf and a place on the leader board.   You're a star Willy and remember.... there are only 17 weeks before the start of the new season.   Enjoy the break.

Tony Sarginson is a worthy winner with rounds of 34 followed by a best of the day 37 on the Sunday to just pip Larry the Plec by a single point.   That Larry had a putt on the last green to tie, shows how well he played on all three days.   His 39 on the Saturday was the best score of the weekend and the 2 shot reduction he suffered as a result proved decisive.  

We should agree how to decide the winner in the event of a tie for future events and probably the score on day 1 should be the decider because we all set out playing to our club handicap on the first tee.  

Cap'n Bob who is comfortably the best golfer in our troupe showed on the Friday that the course was fair to all when he won with a 35 in very tricky windy conditions.

As for me?   I am a better swimmer than when I left but not sure about my golf.

Wednesday 17th June

Having spent a few hours on the practice area trying to lose the 'unmentionables' a bit of rain wasn't going to stop me having a thrash on the course today.   Just Vic and I engaged in the battle and he beat me 3&2.   I had the consolation of winning the bye on 17 and 18 courtesy of two pars and am happy to report that the unmentionables have, at the moment, disappeared.  

My clubs, bag and various bits and pieces are drying out and the next time they see serious action will be in deepest Yorkshire on our 'TOGS on Tour' weekend away starting Friday.  

Aldwark Manor here we come.   Beware of the men in lime green, red, yellow, black, white, royal blue and pink.

Saturday 13th June
Captain's Day

Playing very steadily having played the first 7 holes in 31 shots the wheels suddenly fell off with another of those dreaded shots, whose name we never speak.    A 9 at the 8th followed by a 10 at the 9th did for me and I ended up with a gross 95 / 83 net which is pathetic and exactly what I deserved.

My playing partners were Kevin Laverty and fellow leftie Alan Scott.   Having never played with either before I really enjoyed the round of golf despite my score.   It has to be recorded that my new electric trolley behaved beautifully. 

With the 'TOGS on Tour' weekend fast approaching it's time I got my finger out and spent time on the practice range.   Not sure if it is worth practising any bunker play because I still maintain that the on course bunkers are hopeless.   The course though is in magnificent condition apart and definitely worthy of an 8 /10 on the Boggy-ometer.

Wednesday 10th June

Different players but the result stays the same.   I teed it off with Eddy Stothert and Gareth Nichol today for a game of chairman and we arrived at the 18th green all square with me in the chair and eyeing a birdie put for a win from 12 feet.   That I managed to lag my putt was a let off for the others.    I conceded a ten footer to Ed and we all walked off happy.

The course was in good nick and definitely merits an 8 on the Boggy-ometer.   Just a shame that the bunkers are so poor and they make me look what I am.   A yepless bunker player.

Saturday 6th June
Open Day

Team:   Me / Le Frenchman / Willy the TOG / Rob Roj

We finished nowhere with a paltry 98 points on a surprisingly good golf course.   Definitely recommend a visit here provided you have an electric trolley.

Our other TOGS team:   Rosco / Arch / Dunc / Mr Flog

They scored a magnificent 117 points which is a good return on this tough test of golf particularly as it was geet windy.   Dunc was seen to genuflect as he feasted his eyes on the Stadium of Light standing on the 13th (I think) tee box.

Boldon Golf Club

Friday 5th June
Cullercoats Lifeboat Charity Golf Day

Whitley Bay Golf Club

Team:   Me / Le Frenchman / Dunc /  Willy the TOG

We finished 10th with 113 points

Thursday 4th June
Spital Dene Investment Club Annual Tournament

Blyth Golf Club

Le Frenchman (40 pts) finished first of the visitors and I was second (36 pts) and also claimed the nearest the pin prize at the 17th hole.   My ball came to rest 74½ inches away (or  1.89m).     Our playing partner Denis Hudson won the trophy (38 pts) to complete a clean sweep.  

Wednesday 3rd June

Raff, Vic and I enjoyed a game of chairman and you do not need to be a genius to guess the result.    I'll tell you anyway.    It was a half.  

Friday 29th & Saturday 30th May

Five Nations Golf tournament - Templepatrick Golf & Country Club, Belfast

(Bank holiday) Monday 25th May
Texas Scramble - Stocksfield GC

Me, Dunc and Rosco scored a gross 70 and Willy, Le Frenchman and Mr Flog the same.   Respectable enough on this beautiful golf course set amongst the rolling hills of Northumberland but not enough birdie opportunities to give either team a chance of challenging the leaders.

In fact the majority of the teams scored in the 60's and we were way down the leader board, but who cares it was very enjoyable if a little hard on the leg muscles playing in the sunshine.

The golf course was in fantastic condition and the greens definitely deserved an 8.5 on the Boggy-ometer.   Having seen how good good greens really are I will have to revise my over generous rating of the greens at Tynemouth back down to 8.   They are good but all things being relative they have a way to go.

Saturday 23rd May
Albion Cup

This is a strange format of golf in that the scoring system is based on (net) bogey, par  & birdie resulting in a minus, zero or plus respectively.

Anyway I scored a gross 83 which is in my buffer zone and ended up at zero which is OK.   My guess is that  +6 or thereabouts will be a winning score.   But then again what do I know.

My playing partners today were Mr Flog, AKA Dave Rowntree and Mr Plod, AKA Dave Archbold.   Archie came in with a very efficient +3 and Dave didn't.   Good company and very enjoyable golf played on a course which merits an 8.3 on the Boggy-ometer.

Can the course get much better?   Yes, if the bunkers were worked on.    Or, will  the predicted  long hot summer take it's toll because of a reluctance to water.   We shall see.   Credit where it is due though, the course is probably the best I have seen it in my 9 years as a member.

Saturday 16th May
Medal

I had a bit of a disaster on the 5th hole which cost me dearly.   From just off the fairway and only thirty yards to go I somehow managed to duff a 9 iron into the prickly thorns and could only move the ball from there into a greenside bunker.   My first attempt at extricating myself from the hazard rebounded from the bunker face and hit me.   A few more thrashes with sand flying in all directions resulted in me picking the ball up and settling for a 'no return' very early in the round.   This was a great pity because I had only dropped 1 shot at that point in my round.

I played the next 13 holes in 58 shots, coming home in 39 and wished I hadn't been so hasty in picking up at the 5th.   What might have been eh.    A 10 would have kept me the buffer zone

The greens weren't as good as they have been and fall back to 7½ on the Boggy-ometer.

Update:   My handicap came down 0.2 to 11.7 as a result of my round above.

My round was worth 37 stableford points despite the blip at number 5 and is therefore adjusted accordingly.

Wednesday 13th May

Playing with Raff we whizzed round in three and half hours or so on a very pleasant day.   The greens remain good and merit an 8 on the Boggy-ometer.  

Monday 11th May

Glorious weather greeted the start of the week and it must be said that the golf course is in magnificent condition apart from the bunkers which seem to have different grades and depth of sand on every hole.   Either that or I am a hopeless bunker player.   Who said that?

Since last I played at the weekend the greens have been cut and definitely merit an 8 on the Boggy-ometer.   They are as good as I have seen since the one armed World Championships two or three years back when Mike Lobban was captain.  

Is credit due to green keeping skills?    Or is it that these past three weeks we have had lots of rain followed by lots of sunshine.   As I sit and gaze on the Boggy back garden it too is lush, verdant and beautifully manicured and as I am not a green keeper it must be down to mother nature and my lawn mower.

in the game I took the scone from Raff.

Saturday 8th May
Stableford (3/4 hcp)

On another incredibly windy day in Costa del Tynemouth I had the pleasure of playing with Archie in this 'non counting' competition.   My score of 30 points was no more than reasonable but it didn't matter anyway so what was the point?

The greens have improved again and now merit a 7½ on the Boggy-ometer.

Thursday 7th May
Foursomes knockout

Le Frenchman and I were giving our junior opponents 75 years but they were giving us 5 shots.   It was blowing an absolute hooley and definitely favoured a pair of of old(ish) llefties.   We were never behind in the match and with five holes to play were two up and as Peter Allis always says, "never wins".   Well what does he know?   We won 4 & 3.

All credit to Ryan Ginet and Robin Grayson,  two fabulously talented golfers with a bright future and both members of Tynemouth Golf Club junior side who are the reigning county champions.

It seems we have to play another couple of juniors in the next round.   I shall be bringing my CRB disclosure form with me just in case.

Wednesday 6th May

Loosened up for tomorrow with a game of chairman with Vic and Le Frenchman and as is usual it ended all square on the 17th.   Somehow Vic won £1 from us on the last as he popped in a birdie completely against the run of play and all that had gone before.    I bear him no malice though.

Saturday 2nd May
The Moore Cup

I shall have to survive another year without said trophy adorning my mantelpiece following my gross 87 / net 75 which was only good enough for 71st place according to Howdidio.   My handicap increases by 0.1 to 11.9.

My playing partners were Le Frenchman and Dave Rowntree who is a former winner of the trophy.   They did not fare any better me, in fact I took money from them.   It was though a very enjoyable round of golf on the ever improving greens and I will give them a 7 out of 10 rating.   What I won't be doing though is playing on them on a Saturday afternoon again because sitting around waiting to wait to play seems a pointless exercise.

Wednesday 29th April
Midweek Medal

The first club medal of the season and I posted a gross 82 / net 70 which is pleasing because I feel there are a few shots left out on the course....again.    Then again everyone who plays will be thinking the same.   Presumably my handicap will remain at 11.8.

It rained heavily yesterday and continued overnight and it has to be said that the greens have improved again.   Amazing what a drop of water can do to grass followed by a bit of sunshine.   How come no one thought of that when the greens looked  like rows of seedlings ready for pricking.

On the Boggy-green-ometer a score of 6.5 was registered.

Update:   My 82 was the lowest gross in division 2 but Archie, who was playing off his new handicap of 15 (which didn't last very long) shot an 83 gross for a net 68 and won Div 2.   My handicap stays at 11.8.

Sunday 26th April

I played the front nine with Mr Flog and we were joined at the halfway point by Mrs Flog.   You could say it was Boggy and the Floggies, but I won't.   The three of us played chairman on the back nine or should that be chairperson?   Anyway honours as usual were even and what better way to spend a few hours on another sunny Sunday afternoon.

Saturday 25th April
Neill Read Putter

Le Frenchman and I scored a very respectable 39 points finishing 5points off the winning score.   Our playing partners were Mr Flog and 'Willy the TOG'  who posted 41 points and came fourth overall.   Very enjoyable day in the sunshine playing golf on some half decent greens and some awful greens.   They will get better, won't they?

Wednesday 22nd April

On an even warmer and sunnier day than yesterday it has to be said that some of the greens were very nearly OK.   Number nine is easily the best on the front nine but the rest have the texture of Geoffrey Boycott's scalp.    With bits sticking through in places but not completely covered.   At least Sir Geoffrey has the decency to wear a hat.   How come number seven isn't perfect?

The greens on the back nine had improved markedly since yesterday and were mostly half decent.   At this rate the course should pass muster very soon, just in time for the price hike in the subs.

I took the honours with 20 points on the back nine and the other 'bits' were halved between Le Frenchman, Dunc, Vic, Raff, Harry and yours truly.

Tuesday 21st April

On a warmish sunny day the greens were just as bad as last Saturday but I enjoyed losing a game of chairman to Raff and chatting with my No 2 son as we went round.

Saturday 18th April

Dave Rowntree and I turned up at the appointed hour as arranged last week - 12 for 12.30 - and we enjoyed a pleasant stroll around a near deserted golf course.   Is it the greens?

Incidentally, I won.   Who cares.   "I was just happy to be there!"

Sunday 12th April
Capt & Vice capt challenge match

Le Frenchman and I scored a very respectable 39 points playing off 3/4 handicap but it wasn't good enough to take us through to the play off's.   The captain & vice captain posted 41 points which was good enough to beat all ten teams on the day.   Good golf and very enjoyable.

Saturday 11th April
Lombard Trophy

I scored a gross 82 / 70 net which is pleasing for my first game off the white tee boxes.   The CSS was 70 so I remain at 11.8.

Saturday 4th April
TOGS Week 26

The whole season went to the last putt on the 18th green and fittingly the protagonists were the winner and runner up, of this the seventh season, of the TOGS.

As Duncan McCree and Larry Page, alias Mr Crumble and Larry the Plec, stood on the 18th tee a play off was favourite.    Duncan's nerve held and he secured the crown.

Dunc added 2 points to his tally today and in the end they were crucial.   Larry deserves much credit for his gallant attempt to pass Dunc on the final day but even though he bettered his total by 3 points he fell by just those 2 points.   That Larry finished 4 points clear of Ed in third place suggests that he and Dunc were the class acts this season and they fully deserve to finish as champion and runner up.

Some of the season's statistics:

The highest score of the season was 39 points jointly achieved by Larry, Rosco and Archie and is by some way the lowest in any season.    The best front nine score was 23 points recorded in Week 22 by Rosco and John Grant's 22 points in Week 13 was the best coming home.   The best aggregate in any week came in Week 22 with Rosco's 23 and Larry's 21 on the back making a total of 44 points.   

The players with the highest reduction in handicap over the season were Larry with 3.3 and you've guessed it, Dunc with exactly 3.   Duncan's sixth score in the table was 36 points and is the highest scored since our records began (I don't have any for Year 1) and his total of 219 points compares favourably with other years of 222 / 220 / 216 / 216 / 220.

Of the 26 weeks we lost 7 to bad weather, another record, and the best weekly average score was 33 points in Week 12.   It is generally agreed, I think, that the new scoring system has been a success although I didn't see much wrong with the old one.

We still have the 'TOGS on Tour' weekend at  Aldwark Manor to look forward to in June and there are only 25 weeks until the start of the new season.

Wednesday 1st April

If a bad round midweek is a good omen for the weekend, then whoopee.   If not, I just played badly again for no other reason than to buy a cuppa for others.

In perfect playing conditions, although the course was pretty ropey, six of us played with DMC emerging the victor with 38 points.   If he repeats that on Saturday then he will be crowned TOGS champion with shots to spare.

Others who cam e along for the ride were Daz, Le Frenchman, Raff and Rob Rodge.

Roll on Saturday.

Sunday 29th March

With the course looking in the best condition it has been for ages and the yellow tees back in operation it suddenly becomes a different proposition, especially when the wind blows.

DMC and I played Rosco and Le Frenchman and as is normally the case it all came down to a couple of putts on the 18th.   I missed a ten foot birdie putt for a win and Le Frenchman knocked in a three foot knee knocker for a par and a 1 hole victory.  

"Did we ever doubt him?"

Saturday 28th March
NO TOGS

Because of a county fixture the course was OB to members and we had arranged a courtesy round at Prudhoe Golf Club.   The weather was abysmal. heavy rain, windy and cold so we abandoned that idea at about 11.30am.

Wednesday 25th March

We turned up as usual at Tynemouth for our Wednesday morning game of golf and as is also normal none of us had checked the fixture list and the course was booked out from 8am - 1.30pm.   Five of us set off for Arcott Hall and, for only £12, enjoyed  the change of scenery by playing a different course in midweek. 

Apart from an altercation with some ladies on the 8th tee box by two of our company it was a very satisfying round of golf.  

The condition of the golf course was no better or worse than Tynemouth and our greens are definitely better than theirs.   Is that saying much?   I am not sure, but following our excursion to Prudhoe this weekend I will be in a better position to judge.

When our party arrived at the 6th hole the greenkeper had placed a 'holes closed' sign on the tee box and the instruction was to proceed to the 8th.    He had closed the two holes (6th & 7th) so that they could be hollow tined.   This was done after the ladies had started to play number 6, so they were oblivious to this fact.   The ladies arrived at the 8th tee box as Le Frenchman had just teed off and accused him and young Rob Rodge of jumping in, which of course they hadn't.

As courteous as our two players were this was not good enough for Mrs Doubtfire who proceeded to talk at the two players with utter contempt.   A few words were exchanged on the tee box and the three ladies were ushered through.   Needless to say they duffed their tee shots.  

A senior member of Arcott Hall Golf Club, unknown to any of us, got wind of what had happened because he was playing in one of the groups behind us and apologised on behalf of the golf club to us in the car park.    This was a gentlemanly gesture and I have no doubt he will be speaking to the ladies concerned as I type.

Never a dull moment.

Saturday 21st March
TOGS Week 24

Duncan leapt to the top of the leader board with just one playing week remaining scoring a magnificent 38 points and has posted a total of 217 points which will take some beating or more realistically, equalling.   He has created a gap of of 3 points over long time leader 'Larry the Plec' on 214.

Cap'n Bob cruised into joint third place by adding another 5 points to his haul with a 37 and joins Eddy (+1) on a total of 213 points.   Le Frenchman is a point further back on 211 with Boggy (+2) on a probably too distant 209 points.   Rosco fired a noteworthy 36 today and joined the '200 Club' and is a little further back on 205, some 10 points behind DMC.

The final round is in two weeks on Saturday 4th April and this is what everyone, mathematically in contention, needs to equal Dunc's 217 haul to force a playoff:

36 - Larry the Plec........3/1
37 - Cap'n Bob.............4/1
38 - Ed...........................5/1
40 - Le Frenchman.......10/1
41 - Boggy.....................25/1
42 - The General...........50/1
43 - Rosco.....................50/1
44 - Digby's mate..........500/1
Name your price:    Bar

Anything DMC scores over 34 points should be added to the above numbers for the same result.   To put all this into perspective the highest score this season has been 39 points achieved by Larry, Rosco and Arch.

The bookies have DMC odds on at 1/3.

Wednesday 18th March

Six of us played today and I was as bad as I was good on Sunday.    What a strange game it is.   Daz and Rob Rodge had the best totals (38) and each won one of the nines.   Le Frenchman, Dunc, Eddy and I made up the numbers.

 Sunday 15th March

Decided to turn out and try my luck, having got tired of gardening.    It turns out that I, along with my partner the estimable Oor Willy,  was the victim of a crime .   Our combined stableford total of 78 points was good enough, by a double figure margin, to win our contest against Le Frenchman and Le Flog yet we had to pay them 10 groats in the clubhouse.     I departed for home with my shirt still in place but kept checking my rear view mirror in case of a surprise attack on a quiet stretch of Preston Avenue.   The attack never came and as I took refuge in Chez Boggy contemplated a return to alcohol.   The temptation passed and I fell asleep.

For the record, Willy was second with 37 points and I topped the charts with a noteworthy 41.   The other two contestants in our little game were Dunc and Rob Rodge.

Saturday 14th March
TOGS Week 23

The windiest day of the winter took it's toll and only Daz posted a score in the table and that was only because it was his sixth qualifying score.   He has eased himself away from the wooden spoon position with just two playing weeks left.

Le Fenchman's score of 34 in these conditions is excellent as was our Cultured Caledonian's 32 points, 20 of which came on the back nine.   This week's average total was 29 points and equals the lowest of the season from last week.   Our senior member in the TOGS, Doug Walker, found the conditions impossible and had to leave the course.    With no score recorded the true average would have been 27.   

So, with only two playing weeks left the options for everyone are becoming clearer if 214 is the target to beat.

For Rosco to retain his crown he needs to find 16 points in two rounds.
Tony Sarginson needs a 42.
Boggy and The General are looking for 8 points, Cap'n Bob 7. 
Le Frenchman needs a 38, a 37 and a 35 or 2 x 36's
Eddy is looking for a 37 or a 36 and a 35.
Dunc needs a 36 or a pair of 35's.
Anything Larry the Plec adds over 33 and out comes the abacus again.

Although not mathematically impossible, for the rest of the field to win the bookies are quoting 1,000 to1 against it happening.

Wednesday 11th March

Back on my home course at Tynemouth it has to be said that it is recovering well from the hammering it has taken during the past winter months.   The green keeping staff were out in force too which was good to see.  

That reminds me, whilst playing on the Montgomerie Course at Celtic Manor in Wales last week as we approached the short par three second green there were two green keepers working in the bunker sifting the sand through a sieve by hand.   How impressive is that?

Saturday 7th March
TOGS Week 22

'Larry the Plec' surged to the top of the table with only 3 more scoring opportunities remaining with another score of 37 points and is now down to 14hcp.

This week's star turn though was our defending champion Rosco who equalled this winter's top score with a magnificent 39 points.    His handicap is reduced from 14.4 to 12.9 and his total is now 199.  

Le Frenchman and Cap'n Bob both improved by 1 point to give themselves a chance of taking the title on the last lap.   Anyone outside of the '200' Club will have to have two fantastic rounds to have any chance of winning the title.  For the others,  scores in the range of 36 - 42 are required.   All things are therefore still possible.

Thursday 5th March

Cottrell Park Golf Club
Nr Cardiff

Lost by 1 hole against my favourite Welshman on his home course which is very good if ever you are down this way.

Wednesday 4th March

The Montgomerie Course - Celtic Manor

Played with Ian hillier and a bunch of his mates at Celtic Manor the home of next year's Ryder Cup.   Fantastic.

Saturday 28th February
TOGS Week 21

The conditions were as good as we can expect in the winter with the course having recovered very well, apart from the bog on the 12th fairway and a scabby area in front of the 14th green.     There were 8 scores of 34 points or more in a 14 man field and it is a complicated process for me to adjust the handicaps properly so please double check your own before teeing of next week and let Willy know if you have a query.

The Cultured Caledonian topped the scoring with 37 points and has his handicap cut by 1.2.   The General, with 36 points, is cut by 0.8 and moves to 207 points which is the same as Boggy, who also scored 36 and is now playing off a 10 hcp.   Cap'n Bob also scored 36 and is cut 0.2 as he moves to 208 points.

Dunc is still in pole position but has been joined by Eddy Stothert on 212 points following Ed's 35.   Le Frenchman with a 35 today moves level with Larry the Plec and are both threatening the leaders with 210 points.

Other notable movers today were defending champion Oor Willy with a season's best 35 points and Rosco likewise with a 34.

The last week of the TOGS is 4th April so that only leaves 4 more scoring weeks because there are course courtesies on 28th March.

Wednesday 25th February

All 18 holes were open as were the greens and it must must be said, again, that the course is improving very quickly.

There were six of us battling for the teacake and it was Eddy Stothert with 36 points who had Daz, Dunc, Le Frenchman, Vic and me licking our lips as he tucked in.

Monday 23rd February

Two games in three days and I am all aches and pains.    It has been so long since I played so much golf.    Larry the Plec and I came off the 18th green all square in what was a very enjoyable morning's golf on what, it has to be said, is a fast improving golf course.

Saturday 21st February
TOGS Week 20

With only 6 weeks to go Duncan McCree made a move to the top of the pile with 36 points.     Dunc's round included an outrageous birdie at the 14th which Archie could not praise highly enough.   In fact he could not praise it at all as he departs to the warmer climes of Florida having completed his TOGS season.

Duncan is two shots ahead of 'Larry the Plec' and Eddy Stothert who both improved their scores by 3 and 1 shot respectively.   The only other major mover was Le Frenchman who added four more to his tally to move to 206.

212 points will take some overhauling and it could be that there are only four players close enough to do so.  We shall see.  

Saturday 31st January
TOGS Week 17

On a windy and sunny but dry winter's day we have a new leader with 209 points.     Eddy Stothert's 37 points was 4  clear of his nearest rival, who just happens to be the man who is now in second position, our very own rock star Larry 'The Plec' Page, on 208 (Radio Luxembourg?).     Duncan is on 207 and Tony Sarginson has 206.    The chasing pack are at 203 and under so it is all boiling up for another exciting finish.

The General joined the '200' club and Archie posted his sixth score in the thirties to move within a point of the magic mark.

The first round of the Frank Graham Cup is now complete.    Larry the Plec gets a walkover on Daz who is walkabout down under and I was beaten 2 &1 by Cap'n Bob.   I am desperately trying to think of an excuse or bemoan my luck, but it must be said that the better man won.

The draw for the last eight is posted below the league table.

Thursday 29th January

A mixture of 'frost' and normal greens were open, but the course was extremely wet and muddy and not much pleasure was had.   It was good exercise if nothing else and playing with Raff we got round 15 holes (we dodged ahead of a couple of groups at the turn) in 2 hours and 10 minutes.

Wednesday 21st January

With 8 holes closed following the weekend's rain I feared the worst and expected to find the 10 playable holes soggy or worse.   It has to be said that the holes that we were allowed to play were in reasonably good nick and the way it worked meant a very pleasant two lap round could easily be done.   We teed off just before 10am and were wolfing down teacakes at 1.30pm.  

Le Frenchman, Dunc and I were joined by Gordon Smith and we played a very competitive fourball which finished, rightly, all square.

Saturday 17th January
TOGS Week 15

A busy day in the TOGS with some players playing first round knockout matches, battling for league points and a club stableford competition.   Unfortunately Doug Walker and Alan Ross's TOGS scores were disqualified as per our rule wherein all players must play in club competition on a TOGS day.

Today's winner by a clear 6 points was Archie with a magnificent season equalling best score of 39 points.   He is also cut by 1.5 and now down to12hcp exactly.

There were two new members to the '200 Club'.   Larry Page crashed in to joint third place on 205 and your correspondent, Graham Marsh, made it to 201 with his sixth score.

The ubiquitous Archbold, Steve Todd and Le Frenchman won their singles knockout matches and following a 23 hole thriller The General overcame Oor Willy in near darkness.   There are still two matches outstanding to complete the first round.

Wednesday 14th January

Another game on the 'frost greens' and absolutely no pleasure at all I am afraid to admit.   Next time the voice on the club's ansaphone drones out the dreaded information I shall give it a miss and go for a walk along the seafront which would be much more beneficial and a good deal more fun.

Not the ideal way to spend a birthday hence the grumpy tone, sorry.

Saturday 10th January
TOGS Week 14

In normal circumstances with temperatures of minus 2°C the course would have been unplayable but the newly dug 'frost greens' allowed those who were daft enough to brave the elements a game of golf on a much shortened course.  

To illustrate the point, hole number 12 which is stroke index 1 and a par five was planted next to the bunker up the right side of the fairway and is easily reachable in two shots.

After much debate whether to allow the scores to count or not we set off thinking they would.   Once back in the clubhouse it became obvious that we made a wrong decision and subsequently decided that today's scores would not be registered in the winter league table.  

In fairness to David Bavaird, who scored a magnificent 42 points and therefore stood to gain more than most, it was he who suggested it would be unfair to count the scores.   The Cultured Caledonian matter of factly registered another two birdies and as sportingly as always thought more of 'the big picture' than his personal status in the league.   If only Kevin Pieterson had a brain he might still be captain of England.

That today's scores were inversely proportional to the handicaps (very nearly anyway) illustrates the point even more so.   If I were to inform you that  General John Grant would now be 6 points clear at the top if the scores had stood only corroborates the decision further.   I have to say that the general took this collective decision in good grace and is to be commended on his sportsmanship also.

If Digby's best mate and Daz are reading this from sunnier climes, "We wish you were here!"

Wednesday 7th January

Somehow Le Frenchman and I lost big style to Dunc and Vic Hillier and I am not sure how it happened because we matched them all the way and could in fact have won.   It's a funny old game.

Having said that the conditions were pretty good and the course was OK (sort of) and we got round in 3 hours and 10 minutes with no-one in front to hold us up.   So apart from the fact that I had to pay Vic it was very enjoyable.

Saturday 3rd January 2009
TOGS Week 13

Having reached the halfway point in the season (honestly) today  was easily the best conditions of the winter league that I have played in so far this winter and the scores reflected this with only two players scoring less than 30 points.    Having said that, there has not been a score in the forties yet which makes for a very competitive  league table .......thus far.

The general, John Grant (hello Pam) and Steve Todd are both cut by 0.8 having  posted a pair of 36's and yours truly down another 0.3 following a 35.   Two more players join the "200 Club" namely, Cap'n Bob and Le Frenchman with 201 and 200 respectively.

Please don't shoot the messenger but it has been mentioned that some slow play is creeping in again and other club members do not like it.   We should always remember that we are playing in fourballs with all of us putting out whereas the non TOGS in our rear view mirrors are playing a better ball, therefore playing quicker.   Each group should keep up with the game in front not just ahead of the game behind.   Putts of less than a putter handle should be finished off and not marked and scorecards filled in after teeing off.   All players should be ready to play at all times.  

I have to mention a first for David Bavaird, the Cultured Caledonian, who was playing in the group with me, Le Frenchman and Dave the Flog.   David birdied two holes, the 7th and the 14th for a total of 9 points and to say he was ecstatic was an understatement.   it is also worth pointing out that on top of my duties as media and PR man for our happy little band, my after match summary of the scores was warmly appreciated and Steve Todd is contacting Max Clifford for further speaking engagements on my behalf.

Wednesday 31st December

In temperatures hovering just above freezing, Le Frenchman and I won all three bits against the more senior pairing of Doug (ex Spurs) Spivey and John Thingummy who had just returned from a fortnight's cruising in the Caribbean................. and it showed.

Saturday 27th December
TOGS Week 12

DMC (36) and Tony Sarginson (37) took a giant leap up the leader board and are now 207 and 206 points respectively which is brilliant scoring after just six completed rounds apiece considering the conditions we have played in.

Le Frenchman and yours truly did their scores no harm at all with 37's today.   The scores today were the best yet and the average was 33 points.

The league table is up to date (E&OE).  Please note the handicap reductions and if you think there may be a error with yours, let Oor Willy know because it is not the easiest system to monitor.

Reductions are made as follows:-

Hcp 0 - 5 = 0.1 / 6 -11 = 0.2 / 12 -18 = 0.3 / 19+ = 0.4

Friday 26th December
3 Clubs and a putter

Not the greatest defence of a title ever made by me but DMC, Ed and Raff posted very good scores in the 60's.

Larry page has found a novel way of playing the 13th hole.   Whack your drive as hard as possible into the third tree on the left and play the second shot from the back of the white tee box with your bum hard up against the wall.   A couple of more hits followed by a single putt and a 5, net 4 for 2 points goes on the card.   QED.

Wednesday 24th December

Le Frenchman and I were hammered by Dunc and Eddy Stothert, losing the front the back and the diddle by a comfortable margin.   17 holes were open and the course was much improved but not ideal by any means.   Still it was very enjoyable and I was shattered (mentally and physically come the 18th.   I shall have to improve by a long way if I am to successfully defend my "3 Clubs and a putter" title on Boxing day.

Saturday 20th December
TOGS Week 11

There were 16 greens open and those that were playable had more lumps and bumps than school custard, but it was good to play a competitive round of golf again with the TOGS and 15 of us turned out on this half decent December day.

Tony Sarginson came in with a very respectable 36 points and led the field by two clear points and is now down to14 handicap.   Lord Digby is reported to be delighted but declined to speak to the journalists clambering for a quote.

Eddy Stothert becomes the founder member of this season's '200 Club' and it is no mean achievement to post a double hundred in the conditions thus far.   The bookies are offering good odds for this season's champion to have a score of 216 or less.   We shall see.

Wednesday 17th December

Fifteen holes in the company of Rosco, Le Frenchman, Duncan and Rob represents my first foray into the wilds of the golf course since the post below which is unbelievable.   I say fifteen holes but it was actually only 13 because we leapfrogged the players in front of us else we could still be out there.    At one point there were twelve players on the 5th hole and we would have been stood on the tee box watching, not to mention waiting so we did a detour.

Today's winner was DMC, well played.    My game was, at best, rusty but thoroughly enjoyabe.

Wednesday 19th November

Twelve holes of chairman with Le Frenchman and DMC ended in stalemate as per normal.   It was good to plodge around the course and get some fresh air but it has to be said that our golf course is in a pitiful state.

I was also informed by the man from over the channel that the official handicap list in the clubhouse is showing me as 12.5 which gives me a playing handicap of 13.   I shall be investigating this matter further and will confirm on Saturday.

Saturday 15th November
TOGS Week 6

The first semblance of a league table appears today and only Eddy Stothert and Larry Page have completed six out six rounds and therefore lead the way.

Today's three leading players are to congratulated on their scores on what was another muddy and difficult day for scoring.   In third place, Dunc with 37 points is cut to 9 hcp, second with 38 points is Cap'n Bob (cut to 4hcp) and the winner with a remarkable 39 points is Larry the Plec who is cut to 15 handicap.

I had the pleasure of playing for the first time with 'new boy', John Grant and he is an excellent companion on the golf course.   The Cultured Caledonian, David Bavaird, and Archie made up our foursome as we trooped in half an hour behind the rest of the field ready for our cocoa.

Saturday 8th November

When I rang the course at 8am I have to admit it was disappointing news that the course was open.   The weather outside was, as Bob Johnson might say, dreecht.   Only 9 TOGS played and it has to be said that conditions were not ideal but I am glad I made the effort because I thoroughly enjoyed my game in the company of Larry the Plec and Dave the Flog.

It was good to be back and though our scores weren't anything to brag about they were respectable enough.   OK, I lied.   Larry's 23 was pretty poor but that was all down to his miserable putting and on another day they all go in and he probably wins, as happened last week.

Dave and I both bagged a birdie, his was for a two at the 17th and all in all, "I was just happy to be there!".

Wednesday 5th November

My first game since 27th September and I managed 11 points on the front nine and 20 coming home.   A bit rusty but very enjoyable.   Today's winner was Duncan and others in the game were Daz, Vic and Raff.

Saturday 27th September
The Hines Salver

My first game in a week and probably my last for a month was very enjoyable on what was a beautiful warm sunny day.   The course was still playing long and was soggy in parts but is gradually improving as the groundstaff are able to start cutting back the rough.

I played with Willy and Daz who as always were good company and ideal playing partners.   I am pleased to report that I carded the best front, back and diddle so was delighted to relieve them of their pocket money but couldn't help feeling sorry for them that I bought the after match pot of tea.    I must be getting soft.

The Hines Salver is a Stableford competition off full handicap and my score of 29 points will tell you just how difficult the conditions were because I also scooped the 6 man kitty.

Saturday 20th September
Professional's Competition

I may have played golf in worse conditions but I cannot remember where or when.   The course should not have been open, simple as that.   Unplayable rough just inches from unkempt fairways with casual water everywhere making conditions extremely difficult and not particularly enjoyable either.   The minutes spent searching for balls in the rough at most holes made the trek arduous in the extreme and simply too much for my drug addled body to cope with.   I had to sit out 15, 16 and 17 whilst my gregarious playing partners Bill Fletcher and Tony Sarginson made their way around the closing corner before I walked in and down the 18th with them.  

Never has the 'Moon Club' been such a welcome sight.   I sank a pot of tea and headed for home as quickly as possible for a lie down, completely shattered.

Monday 15th September

With only the back nine holes open due to hollow tining on the front,  Raff, Archie and I did two circuits of the back nine playing chairman.   It was all even until Archie unleashed a fantastic bunker shot at the 16th from 130 yards using an 8 iron to within three feet of the hole to claim a birdie and ultimately the match.    Fair play to him, it was definitely shot of the day.

I have to say that the course was flooded in parts and there could be no complaints (from me anyway) if it was to remain closed for a few more days.

Saturday 13th September

The course is closed once more which is hardly surprising because it has pleuted down for the best part of a fortnight.

A reminder to all TOGS that the
 AGM is on Wednesday 17th in the clubhouse at 7pm.

Wednesday 3rd September

Eight of us started out but only five could stay the course and of the five Duncan triumphed, winning the front, back and diddle with a birdie thrown in to rub salt in the wounds.   I enjoyed the fresh air and exercise and as ever the company on the course even though my game was not too good today.

Monday 1st September

Raff and I showed no mercy on the boggy field that is Tynemouth Golf Course and won at a canter against the might of Oor Willy and Daz.   We took the front, the back and the match plus a birdie and I arrived home stuffed full of cream cake ready to enter a Billy Bunter look-alike competition.

News - Hard lines to Bill and Eddy who finished as runners up in the club foursomes.

 Saturday 30th August
Pairs Competition - Stableford aggregate

Can't remember the name of the competition I have just played in all of two hours ago but my mate Le Frenchman and I scored 55 points which was a winning score amongst the TOGS but will be nowhere near the winning score required to win the comp.

The course is still extremely difficult and the turnout in today's competition probably reflected that fact.   There are better ways of spending a Saturday than searching in long grass for golf balls.

Having said that I played my best golf of the season and recorded a gross 81 / nett 68 for 35 Stableford points (3/4 handicap).   Preferred lies were allowed on the fairways so I may have to stay at 13 but at least there was a semblance of a return to form which was pleasing.

Our playing partners were Archie and Dunc and we just pipped them for the spoils on the last green thanks to a couple of pars.

Christmas Meal B&B -  A deposit of £50 must be paid to Willy by next Saturday to secure your room and meal at the Battlesteads Inn at Wark Northumberland on Saturday 29th November.

Wednesday 27th August
Midweek medal

This would have have been a good game to miss because playing golf on a still waterlogged golf course with rough barely six inches off the fairway up to your ankles and a wind blowing the high hit drive backwards made for a difficult day's golf which if the truth was told was no pleasure at all.  

My playing partners, Le Frenchman and DMC and I took our medicine like men but we all probably cried later in private.    Consequently I had a 'no return', DMC could not break 100 and Le Frenchie a gross 93.   Need I say more?

Monday 25th August

It seems such a long time ago that I teed it up and played badly that I had forgotten how poor my game really is.   It didn't take too long for or the memories to come flooding back but I did enjoy playing again in a perverted kind of way.

My playing partners today were Archie and Dave Rowntree and the other threeball was made up with the man from Bude, Le Frenchman and Mrs Crumble's better half, aka DMC.

Archie won the front nine and match, Le Frenchman took the honours on the back nine and I had to content myself with 2 birdies and a bacon and egg sarnie.   I shall try again on Wednesday in the midweek medal.

Saturday 16th August
The Donkin Cup

My game has been awful for quite a while now and my handicap has been creeping inexorably towards the teens.   Following another abysmal performance my exact new handicap is 12.5 making me a 13 handicap golfer.   I suspect even this may be too low!

Playing alongside Daz and Archie it was good to be back at Tynemouth playing with my mates but I have to report that the golf course was in a shocking state.   It seems that the fairways have been cut by Jacques Cousteau and his team and they are in an awful state.   If the course is too wet to cut therefore too wet to play on, the answer is simple.   Keep it closed until it is playable.

Despite a gross 97 I am not blaming the golf course for my poor play.   I am afraid it is a case of Mea Culpa.

Friday 8th August
British Transplant Golf Championships

I shall update this on Sun 17th Aug.    My 87 gross was way off the pace and I finished 7th in the scratch competition.  

Saturday 2nd August

We had courtesy of the course at Northumberland Golf Club because a county competition was being held at Tynemouth so a few of us, namely Daz, Willy, Rosco, Archie, Dunc, Dave Rowntree and a couple of late additions, The Cultured Caledonian and Doug Walker set off in three three balls.

I played in the last group out with Dave and Rosco and as we were walking up the second fairway we were caught in a lightning and and thunderstorm of epic proportions and had to take refuge in a wooden shelter up by the green.   When we got there Archie, Doug and the 'cultured one' were already sat huddled in safety.   We spent over half an hour before we could even think of venturing out again and when we did a marshal appeared and told us to wait for the klaxon before we could restart.

When eventually we got going again it has to be said that the golf course was magnificent and a pleasure to play badly.   As ever my playing companions were good company and although none of us scored more than 30 points we enjoyed the day's golf and hospitality back in the clubhouse.  

That we finished as a fourball with Archie making up the quartet because Doug and David Bavaird had had enough after 8 holes meant having to rush to keep ahead of the group behind and we probably finished an hour behind Willy, Daz and Dunc.   That Dunc scored 37 points suggests he played extremely well in difficult conditions and not only did he take the pot but he also took home a custard dish for Mrs Crumble.

Wednesday 30th July
Medal

No comment.

Wednesday 23rd July

Le Frenchman and I triumphed with ease against Daz and Raff, winning the front, back and diddle and just to rub salt in the wound Le Frenchy birdied the 18th hole.

There were loads of ex footballers milling around as we finished due to a "Show Racism the Red Card" competition about to start.   The current Scottish manager George Burley was being interviewed by Setanta Sports in front of the clubhouse and it will be interesting to see how the course looks on the TV because it was in fine fettle today.

The greens and tee boxes were being given a last minute trim  as we were finishing our round and the course was closed for most of the afternoon due to a shotgun start with all holes filled.   I was amused to learn that the staring claxon was in fact a claxoff  because it uttered not a peep when it's turn came to start the competition.

Monday 21st July

Played with Raff and having tested a new utility club started hitting the ball straight from the middle of the fairway again which is a bit of a novelty.   It felt good, so just as Victor Kiam once did, I bought it.   The club not the company.

Saturday 19th July
Walton Trophy

Unlike Magnus Magnusson we started but did not finish.   Birthday boy Doug Walker, the Cultured Caledonian AKA David Bavaird and I got as far as the 9th before deciding that there was little chance of an improvement in the weather and we headed for sanctuary and a club sandwich.   I daresay a 'no return' will see me go up by 0.1 to 12.3hcp, but as least I am still dry.

Wednesday 16th July
Medal

My current exact handicap is now 12.2 and I shall have to get my finger out soon or it looks like I will be in serious bandit country.

Better, but only by 2 shots.   A gross 86 for a nett 74 will not be enough to stop me creeping up to 12.3hcp I fear.   Five 6's on my card is not very good,  probably four too many, even on an extremely windy morning as we had today.

My playing partners today were Vic Hillier and Rob Dearman.   Although I know Rob very well as he used to be a neighbour it is the first time I have had the pleasure of his company on the golf course.   Jolly good it was too.

Update:   The CSS was 72 so my nett 74 was within the buffer zone and my handicap remains at 12.2.   Some sort of progress if nowt else.

Tuesday 15th July

I turned up for a practice session but Le Frenchman and Daz had the same idea so we ended up having a  friendly dozen holes.   I managed a couple of birdies and was hitting my 4 iron more or less straight(ish).   Could be a false dawn, we shall see.

Saturday 12th July
Medal

Another dismal performance which included yet another 8,  this time at the 5th hole, for a gross 88 nett 76.   I am convinced that when and if I get rid of the disastrous hole per round which is plaguing me just now my game will settle down.   Another chance presents itself on Wednesday in the midweek medal and I can't wait to tee it up.

My playing partners today were Le Frenchman and Dave Rowntree and it has to be said that we did not trouble the leader board.

Wednesday 9th July

Enjoyed a relaxing game in the company of DMC, GKS and Brian Liddle  who will be a very sprightly 82 years old in October.   As ever it all came down to the final putt on the last green and although I missed a ten footer by a less than a kipper's eyelash,  Brian knocked it in with his foot so that we would finish all square.  

Sunday 6th July
Stansfield:   36 hole Cub Championship

My first round was pathetic in the extreme with 2 x 8's, 2 x 7's and 3 x 6's for a gross score of 95.   Not sure how I didn't win the wooden spoon.

Playing much better in the second round I was disappointed to only shoot a gross 83 / nett 71.   Another 8 diddled for me but at least I was within my buffer zone.

My playing partners were Daz and Rosco and we had an enjoyable 8 hours or so and at times played some reasonable golf, thoroughly enjoyable.   Between us we were carrying enough tablets and medication to start a dispensary but we managed to hobble through to the end.

It has to be said that he standard of scoring this year was very good and this has to be down to the quality of the junior players coming through the ranks.   To qualify for the last 16 knock out stage I think 15 players scored a gross 154 with three players involved in a play off on 155.

Saturday 5th July

Last chance to iron a few things out before the 'biggy' tomorrow.

Wednesday 2nd July
Midweek medal

Following a disastrous 10 at the par five 12th hole and a lost bal at the 13th I decided not to trouble the scorers and ripped my card up there and then and accompanied le Frenchman home.   This was only my third 'no return' but my second in the last five rounds which is not a good sign ahead of Sunday's Stansfield Club champoinships.

Tuesday 25th June
European Transplant Games

Sporting Club de Vichy
Vichy, France.

Second place - silver medal.

Monday 24th June

Practice round in Vichy France.

Sunday 16th June

Played what will probably be my last full round before teeing it up in Vichy at the European Transplant Games next week.   My game was a little better but still showing signs of sickness.   I shall just have to keep taking  the tablets.

Saturday 15th June
Medal

My game is bad enough at the moment without having to stand idly by on tee boxes or the middle of a fairway watching players ahead of me look for balls in the wilderness with an empty hole ahead of them while the group of players who were two holes behind at one point end up standing waiting for me and Le Frenchman to play our shots.   

For only the second time since becoming a member of TGC I entered a no return for the competition and the least said the better.

Wednesday 11th June

Raff took advantage early on as Dunc and I were either losing balls in the rough or flailing about aimlessly.   He went two up after three holes and held that advantage 'til the very end and won a teacake into the bargain.

There was a golf society playing the course today and they must have been from  a branch of the 'How not to observe the club dress code society' because a few of them were dressed for gardening duty and one of them could have been the model for one half of the Dress Code poster sited in the clubhouse.

Everyday black socks, patchwork shorts ideal for jungle warfare and tee shirt hanging out replicated the 'how not to dress for golf' half of the said poster perfectly.   That he came into the clubhouse for a sarnie in his socks at least kept the carpet from getting muddy.

We either have a dress code at Tynemouth Golf Club or we don't.   At the moment I believe we do have such a policy and  as such it should be enforced.   It should be a simple matter to police when it comes to visiting parties.   If not, then it should be scrapped.   

Tuesday 10th June

Turned up intending to practice and ended up playing a round with Dunc and young Rob Rodgerson.  

Rob was the goalkeeper in the Tyne Boys Club football team (did I ever tell you I am chairman?)  that included my son Kevin, who swept all before them in under 18 football including a cup final win against the 'mighty' Wallsend Boys' Club following a dramatic penalty shoot out at Purvis Park the home of my beloved Percy Main Amateurs FC and where Rob's dad Bob, whom I went to Cubs with, has just given up as manager after some 16 years.

It is easy to be 'mighty' by creaming off most of the best talent from the local sides.   It is much more difficult to cultivate and mould a winning team from a set of lads who just want to play because they love it.   It also brings with it a certain degree of humility and  graciousness in defeat is a lesson well learned.       There endeth the lesson.

The golf?   We played chairman and as is normal all things ended up level.

Saturday 6th June
Tynemouth Golf Club Open (3/4hcp)

Partnered by ex cap'n Bob Whitehead, a 6 handicap golfer who doesn't need to play off 14 to win, we played the front nine in abysmal fashion and could only garner 14 points.   We finally started to play somewhere near half decently on the back and came back with 19 points for a meagre total of 34 which is at least 9 points off the clubhouse leaders.   Still it was good to finish the round in something approaching half decent form in the run up to the European championships in a couple of weeks taking place in Vichy, France.

Our playing partners Dave Rowntree and Alan Ross fared marginally better and posted 35 points but despite the indifferent play the company was good.

Saturday 31st May

 Five Nations Golf 
Forest Pines

For a comprehensive report and all of the results

Friday 30th May
Forest Pines Open

Saturday 24th May
The Albion Cup

With no golf all week due to the Boggy bug I could hardly expect my game to be anything other than as bad as it currently is.   Minus 8 in this odd format is another pathetic display of golf and my next scheduled game will not be until the Forest Pines Open next Friday due to a week's cricket tour in Somerset with the GBTCC.

I think my schedule is not really geared up to performing to my optimum on the fairways and I dread to think what my game will be like after a few overs, some leather chasing and a few runs in the fields of Somerset.  

Still, if that's all I have to worry about I'll settle for it.

Saturday 17th May
Medal

My game is getting worse in direct proportion to the state of the golf course.   A gross 94 / 82 nett is a fair reflection on how I played.  

I am certain that under the mountain of grass cuttings lying around  that we have a very good golf course which fully justifies our not insignificant annual subscription, but that is purely a guess on my part.   The fairways are strewn with clods of grass and the rough is virtually unplayable.   As for the greens?   They have as much dead grass lying on them as the car park.

It could be that a machine is out of order or any number of things could have gone wrong but surely we deserve an explanation as to the problem.   A local ruling for relief from the detritus would also be helpful.

Apart from that, I was hopeless.

Friday 16th May
Cullercoats lifeboat Golf Day

This an enjoyable way to play golf.   The best three scores in the fourball at each hole must be counted and the team with the most points wins.   Last year we came 6th with something like 112 points.   A winning score is normally in the 116 - 122 range.   Anything more and there ought to be a steward's enquiry.

Our team is Daz Ridley (7), Le Frenchman, Willy Smith and Graham Marsh (all off 12hcp).   We are competing as the TOGS.

Wednesday 14th May

Bit of a loosener in preparation for Friday's RNLI competition at Blyth Golf Club.

Le Frenchman and I played a fourball against Daz and Joe Moule for a scone each corner and a sticky bun for birdies.   We scooped the jackpot with 4 sticky buns and 3 scones.  

The unusual happened at the 18th (our ninth) when my birdie was followed in by Le Frenchie's birdie and we came away licking our lips at the prospect of a sticky bun each.

Saturday 10th May
Mason Spoons

The course looked a picture from the Boggy Blimp at 1,000 feet but at ground level it was a nightmare.   In glorious scoring conditions, at least that's how it should have been, we made a complete Horlicks between us.  

Miss the fairway and you were ankle deep in thick rough if you were lucky enough to find the ball.   Hit the green and a two putt was an achievement worthy of praise because the lush greens are very slow and, although running true, extremely difficult to putt on.

There were 11 TOGS playing in the sweep and only Eddy Stothert with 33 managed to exceed the 30 points mark.   It will be interesting to see what the overall winning score will be.   I would predict nothing higher than a 37 or 38, but then again what do I know?

Update:   40 points was the winning score but Ed was in the top 10.

I arrived at 10am and didn't tee off until 11.25am and that was with some jiggery pokey at the ball tube if the truth was told.   There has to be a more satisfactory method than this at the start of a competition round but I shall leave that to the 'brains trust' to decide on these matters.

The new system of different coloured flags to indicate the position of the hole is very simple and extremely helpful.   A slight criticism would be that the blue flag is very difficult see from 150 yards out and a brighter colour is needed.    Credit where it is due, it is a good innovation.

My score of 20 points was greeted by a sonic boom at the 18th and my two playing partners Rosco and Le Frenchman fared only marginally better with 23 and 25 points respectively.   It was a pleasure to play so badly in their company.    Merci mes amis.

Thursday 8th May

Spital Dene Investment Club competition at Bellingham Golf Club

Difficult course played in glorious sunshine and from being level 2's after 7 holes I imploded in the heat and struggled to get round, finishing with a total of 25 points and glad to make it to the sanctuary of the clubhouse.

Wednesday 7th May

Daz took the teacakes and Vic a scone as I was left in their wake and had to buy a 'club sarnie'.   very nice it was too.

Sunday 4th May
Foursomes knock out

'Tea bag' Marsh strikes again and brought Le Frenchman down with him.   Fair play to our opponents, Dave Belshaw and Hugh Collins, they beat us by 1 hole and as a reward will play messrs Archbold and McCree in the next round.  

Saturday 3rd May
The Moore Cup

My first medal of the season and I was not surprised by my gross 89 / 77 nett.   Disappointed yes, surprised no.   At least I now have something in common with the legendary Sir Garry Sobers by virtue of the fact that I also scored six sixes.

My playing partners did not fare much better, Le Frenchman also scored a 77 and Daz a 74.

Thursday 1st May

Played only 12 holes with Raff as we jumped onto the back nine to avoid some dreadfully slow playing by three groups of ladies who showed no desire to let us pass.

Saturday 26th April
Neil Read Putter

Fourball better ball competition played off 3/4 handicap in tough windy conditions Le Frenchman and I scored a steady if unspectacular 36 points.   We played with the Daz Ridley and Alan Ross pairing and they were very good in scoring a  creditable 40 points.   They also won the front, the back and the match with 2 birdies for good measure and as a consequence I have to stay in tonight.

Friday 25th April

The Golden Glove
 Royal Musselburgh Golf Club

It is always a pleasure to play the beautiful course that is Royal Musselburgh in this annual event and as always David Hill and Reg Chisholm, and I am sure with a lot of help from Jenny and Norma, organised a first class event for the couple of dozen golfers.  

It is an inevitable consequence that there will be cry offs from the transplant golfers as our health is a fickle beast over which we have little or no control and our best wishes go  out to those who had to withdraw because of ill health.   "There but for the grace of God etc...."

Playing from the new white tee boxes and in a very strong wind made the course very long and as a consequence the scores were at least 10 points lower than in previous years but all things are relative and the winners and losers were as follows:-

As you can see I came away with 'a prize' from the Golden Glove and was delighted to be in the exalted company of Roy Stevens and Willie White as a third of the worst threesome.   We hope not to be able defend our title next year.

My playing partners were the amiable twosome of Alan Moffat and Ronnie Walker from the Grangemouth Golf Club and Crieff Golf Club respectively.   I may not have played my best golf ever but I thoroughly enjoyed the company of these two jolly Jocks   I am  pleased to report that they were both placed second in their respective categories and fully deserved by their steady play.

My thanks to Reg Chisholm as always for organising a practice round on his home course of Winterfield and I should tell everyone that our mini competition was won by David Hill with his best ever round of golf as he came in with 44 points on a very tough scoring day.   With form like that he would have been in with a good chance of taking the Golden Glove to Scotland, which would have been a first.

As it happens that honour fell to Stuart Ross who lifted the trophy.   Well played Stuart.

On behalf of all of the golfers a big thank you to all of the sponsors and to James Currie, Kevin Willis and Gordon Scott who checked the cards and produced the results and of course to the committee of Royal Musselburgh Golf Club for hosting the event on this magnificent golf course.

Thursday 24th April

Practice day at Winterfield Golf Club, Dunbar.

Winterfield is an interesting experience if you have never had the pleasure as it has six par three's, five of which are over 200 yards long and either directly into or with a very strong wind at your back.

I played with 11 handicap Kevin Willis, a member, against Le Frenchman and Le Welshman, Ian Hillier and took great delight in relieving the Welshman of his currency.   My score of 37 points gave me great confidence for the Golden Glove to come tomorrow as my game was generally in good working order, or so I thought.

Wednesday 23rd April

Continuing my dismal form from Monday I was on the wrong end of another mauling.   This time I took Le Frenchman down with me and we were annihilated by Alan Higginbottom and Daz Ridley by the proverbial dog licence (7s 6d).

We had better get our acts together because we are heading north of the border tomorrow in search of the Golden Glove.

Monday 21st April

Update on Saturday:   I understand that 4 of the top 7 places were taken by juniors but they are not allowed to claim the victory because they are under 18.   This could be a portend of things to come this season and we adults may be in for a hard time winning our own trophies.   I wonder how other clubs run their 'majors' ?

Daz's 67 was placed third on countback I believe.   I also learn that no handicaps will be increased or decreased because of the local ruling we had in effect of 'pick, clean and drop in the rough' which is fair enough.

Aujord'hui:   L'homme de francais triomphe en cinq et trois.   Je suis trés miserable.

Saturday 19th April
The Lombard

I played with Dave Archbold and Alan Ross and was generally playing my approach shot to the green first in the company of these two beasts.   I finished with a gross 85 / 73 nett which considering the conditions wasn't too bad a return for the first game of the season from the white tee boxes.   Depending on the standard scratch score I may just escape a 0.1 increase.

Having said that, fellow TOG, Daz Ridley (7 hcp) fired a gross 74 for a nett 67 which is a fantastic score and must be in with a shout of winning.

Thursday 17th April

Playing against Bob Best and Doug Spivey, Gordon Smith and I earned an honourable half courtesy of my par at the last.

Chatting to Doug about his days as a player at Tottenham Hotspur in the early 50's he told me that he played a handful of games for the first team in the old First Division, which is no mean achievement.  

The full back in that team was a certain Alf Ramsey and the captain was Bill Nicholson.   Isolated in London, Doug was unhappy and soon discovered wine, women and song and returned home.    Great stuff.

Wednesday 16th April

Having started in the cold and rain I gradually peeled off a couple of layers as we finished in glorious sunshine at Costa del Tynemouth.   Unfortunately, Le Frenchman and I had to hand over the Euros to young Victor and his accomplice Gordon Smith

Despite a magnificent comeback by the two of us from 3 down to be 1 down at the 15th, somehow Vic managed a four par finish from behind trees, in bunkers and the middle of bushes with a brilliant display of scrambling golf to win the match.   You could say Le Frenchy and I committed a faux pas too.

Monday 14th April

Played nine holes before coming off shivering from the cold.   Having to stand around watching a fourball follow a threeball, behind a threeball, behind two and a half empty holes is no fun.    The man up there in the helicopter must be thinking, 'Why are Marsh and his mate Raff in a hold up when there is all that space up ahead?'

Why indeed?   The tee was booked for a seniors competition from 9.30 - noon and as we teed off at 9.10am I don't understand how there are seniors in the comp ahead of me.   Discuss.

Saturday 12th April

With four holes closed The Lombard Trophy is a wash out and I didn't much fancy carrying my bag round a muddy field, so gave it a miss altogether.

Wednesday 9th April

John Raffle and I were demolished by 5 in a game of chairman with Alan Higginbottom today and is definitely the biggest winning margin I have ever come across in this format.   Fair enough we weren't brilliant but Alan to win by 5 tells you how well he was striking the ball.   He is off on holiday at the weekend and as the pound hits a new low against the Euro we have paid for his first few drinks at the bar.

Since playing my first round at Lancaster on Friday, walking off the 17th was the 98hole I  have played since.   We walked down the 18th because it started to rain heavily and  the game was well over.    That's it till Saturday.

Monday 7th April
Forest Pines Golf & Country Club

What a fantastic venue for the Five Nations Golf tournament this will be, having played the course today with John Barnes and Keith Atherton my fellow committee members.   The golf course is made up of three 9's and we will be playing on The Forest and The Pines which are excellent.   As is usual with tree lined golf courses hitting it straight will be crucial to make a good score.   The greens are magnificent and I assume they will be lightning fast come the end of May.

The hotel complex is everything you would expect from a four star venue and I am certain everyone will enjoy their three days at Forest Pines.  

Friday 4th - Sunday 6th April
TOGS on Tour
(Weather:  Cold and wintry, course played long but overall OK)

Friday Trophy

Winner - Le Frenchman = 34 points
Runner up - Dave Archbold = 31 points

  TOGS on Tour

Champion - Dave Rowntree = 62 points
Runner up - Daz Ridley = 61 points

Saturday Winner - Larry Page = 35 points
Runner up - Duncan McCree = 32 points

Sunday Winner - Dave Archbold = 32 points
Runner up - Daz Ridley = 32 points

Longest drives each day -  Fri:     Daz Ridley
                                                 Sat:    Alan Ross
                                                 Sun:   Alan Ross

Nearest Pins each day -      Fri:     Alan Ross / Dave Rowntree
                                                 Sat:    Daz Ridley
                                                 Sun:   Dave Archbold / Le Frenchman
 

Not sure what everyone's scores were but for the record these are mine:

Friday = 31 points (3rd)
Saturday = 30 points
Sunday = 28 points

Respectable enough given the length of the course and probably puts me in 5th place behind Duncan and Archie.

Great weekend's golf and craic.   On behalf of all of the TOGS, big thanks to Daz and Rosco but I am sure even they will agree that without Willy Smith's input and dedication above and beyond the call of duty none of this would have been possible.   You're a star Willy and even though we may have an odd way of showing it sometimes, we all think you are lush.

Only 25 weeks to go for the new season, can't wait.  
 2008 AGM
Wednesday 17th September - TGC Clubhouse @ 7pm.

Wednesday 2nd April

The least said the better as Le Frencman and I were whopped 5&4 by the in form Alan Higginbottom who was unassisted by Vic Hillier.  

Next time out I will be attempting to defend my 'Friday trophy' at our TOGS on Tour weekend away at Lancaster Golf Club.

Monday 31st March

Congratulations to Eddy Stothert on winning the TOGS singles knockout competition today with a 2&1 victory over Dave Rowntree.

There was never much in it and I do know that at the halfway stage Dave was 1 up.

Ed has a remarkable record in TOGS matchplay competitions and this is his fourth time in the winner's enclosure in six years.

Saturday 29th March
 TOGS Week 26

"Some people are on the pitch.   They think it's all over.   It is now".

It's hard to believe but that's it for another TOGS winter league - tempus fugit.

On the 22nd December, Week 12, Alan Ross got to to 220 points and established a lead that he would never relinquish.   He deservedly took the crown for the second time in our six year history and no matter how we tweak the rules it is always the best golfer over the period that comes out on top.   Well done Rosco.

Daz Ridley ended up playing off +3 handicap and finished runner up just a single point behind which is a remarkable achievement.    Larry Page (218), Alan Higginbottom and Le Frenchman (217), Duncan McCree (216) and yours truly, Graham Marsh (215) played consistently well throughout the season but could not quite overhaul those above.

Our defending champion, Willy Smith, going for a 'threepeat' came out with all guns blazing on the last day again to shoot a magnificent 38 points and finish on 216 points just 4 shy of the winning mark.   Great defence Willy.

The rest of the field are some 5 points back on 210 and under with only two players failing to join the '200' Club, mainly due to injury and work commitments for Steve Todd and Bob Whitehead respectively.

I don't know what Doug Walker's total was in 2003 (Willy will let me know),  but for the record, previous winning totals with the winning margin in brackets are as follows:

2003 - Doug Walker   = 223
2004 - Le Frenchman = 222 (5)
2005 - Rosco               = 220 (4)
2006 - Willy                  = 216 (4)
2007 - Willy                  = 216 (3)
2008 - Rosco               = 220 (1)......7 other players were within 5 points.

How interesting is that?  

Next week it is our TOGS on Tour  weekend at Lancaster Golf Club and then it's only 26 weeks before we start all over again.   Can't wait.

Wednesday 26th March

Alan Higginbottom and I kept Le Frenchman and Eddy Stothert company whilst they battled out their singles knockout  semi final.   Eddy was fantastic and when they shook hands on the 13th green he hadn't dropped a shot to to par.   C'est magnifiqué.

Needless to say in the bigger game Eddy won the front nine and the match but I salvaged half a scone with 22 points on the back for a respectable 37 total but was still 5 short of Ed's haul.

Monday 24th March

How's this for a summary of our game today?   

"If it wasn't for these snow showers conditions would be ideal and it's not really that cold, is it?"

Six of us set off but only three of us reached the ninth.    The other three having baled out at the eighth where the word 'Help' had been written in the snow, presumably so that the air sea rescue team would be able to find us.     Le Frenchman, Duncan and I turned and headed in the general direction of the clubhouse through the blizzard following DMC's birdie at the ninth.   Le Frenchy and I both secured our pars so conditions weren't so bad........oh yes they were!

The trio who chose the clubhouse route first were Rosco, Dave Rowntree and Dave Archbold and we three soon caught them up.  

Will try again on Wednesday at 9.45.

Saturday 22nd March
TOGS Week25

Welcome to springtime.   Bloody freezing, blowing a hooley and about to snow at any second.   This is what the winter league is all about.   It is easy to say that when there is only one more week to suffer.

Today's winner was Bill Fletcher playing off 18hcp (down to 16) with 33 points to add 4 to his total.  The only other player to increase his tally was Paul Keenan, 30 points, who also bettered his lowest score by 4 points.   Yours truly, Boggy, finished second with 30 points and incurred a handicap reduction from 5 to 4.

It is still just about possible for one of  the five of six golfers down to me on 215 points to draw level or even overhaul Rosco's total of 220 points, I exclude second placed Daz who is playing off +3, but it will take take something very special for that to happen.  

Dave Rowntree, thanks to three birdies, beat the holder Daz in the semi final of the singles and awaits either le Frenchman or Eddy Stothert in the final.   In the doubles Paul Keenan and Eddy had too much for Bill Fletcher and David Bavaird in the strong wind today and will meet Daz and Alan Higginbottom in the final.

Wednesday 19th March

Vic Hillier went home wagging his tail like a puppy following his victory on a Wednesday morning for absolutely yonks.   Raff, Ed (9 holes only), Alan Higg and me were all put firmly in our place by Vic who, it has to be said, took advantage of some very ordinary play by the rest of us.   Well done Vic.

Anyone fancy a game in the morning about 9.45am?

Saturday 15th March
TOGS Week 24

Playing off scratch, Daz Ridley fired a gross 68 to come in with 38 magnificent points and now has the dubious honour of playing the last two gamers off +2, which is the best handicap any player has achieved in our 6 year history.   Daz bettered his lowest score by 4 points and moves into second place on 219 to sit a tantalising solitary point behind our, once, runaway leader Rosco.

Correction to above:   Daz, having scored more than 37 points is cut an extra shot and is now playing off the mind boggling handicap of +3.   So, tell me again what is wrong with the present system, I must be missing something.

There was a club Stableford competition today too and Daz's score of 45 points will take some beating.

Two other players improved their scores today;  Tony Sarginson by 4 points (210) and our runner up Dave Archibald by 6 points, who joins the '200' Club.   Finally, all of the TOGS have now posted their six scores with Paul Keenan posting 30 points and we can see a complete league table with just two weeks remaining.

Realistically all those (six) players with 215 points  or better are now the only one's who can catch Rosco and it will take a fantastic round  to do it.

Wednesday 12th March

It was far too windy to play, but we did.   Alan Higginbottom had enough by halfway and went to work but me and my son, Kevin, continued until the bitter end.   I ended up losing and was glad to finish.

Saturday 8th March
TOGS Week 23

Alan Higginbottom finally managed to beat his lowest score of 32 and he chose possibly the winter's toughest scoring conditions to do it in with his excellent 33 points.   Can he score any more points though, playing off a 4 handicap, to challenge our leader?

The day's only other improved score was from Dave Rowntree, with a 32, and he is now down to 10hcp.   A special mention for Eddy Stothert who posted a very creditable score of 31 playing off 2.

Daz & Alan Higginbottom beat Archie and Rosco 2& 1 and now sit waiting in the final for some opponents to play.

That the semi finals should have been completed by 23 Feb and there is still an 'either or' situation in the other half of the draw looks mildly ridiculous.   It seems to me that if players are not injured and are simply not turning up on Saturdays and if the games are not played through the week then they have to forfeit the match at some point otherwise what is the point.   There are only 3 more TOGS Saturdays of the season remaining and these games should be played in the winter or not at all.

Wednesday 5th March

Five of us completed our Stableford round and Alan Higginbottom and I shared the spoils.   Al scored 22 points on the front and I had a pair of 20's to win the back and halve the match with him. 

Those who were scrabbling about for some loose change at the end were Vic Hillier, Eddy Stothert and Dave Rowntree.

There was a 20 strong golf society following us and it turns out they were all policemen.   Ed and Alan have never played so quickly all season as they were chased around the course by the long arm of the law.   We thought Archie may  have known a few of them but we couldn't find him.   Obviously, he was playing undercover today.

Monday 3rd March

Yet another game of chairman ended all square with none of us registering a point.   Le Frenchman, Archie and I exchanged the ill fitting jacket a few times but none of us got to score whilst having a fitting.

Le Frenchy did relieve us of one birdie's worth of French francs and is now bombing down the M62 trying to catch the overnight to Zeebrugge.

Following our game we visited the clubhouse for light refreshments which is perfectly usual.   What was unusual, in fact, change that to extremely perverse, was this;   Le Frenchman ordered a hot beef sarnie with gravy but no chips.   He was told that he would be paying for the chips regardless so may as well have them.   Le Frenchman not wanting any French fries said he would have a bacon buttie instead.

How ridiculous is that?   How can any retail food establishment make a customer pay for chips when he has no wish to eat them?   At £3.95 it cannot be beyond the wit of man in a hat to simply deduct (say) £1.20 and even simpler, charge £2.75 for hot beef sarnie.

Is it just me or is that completely ridiculous?  

Saturday 1st March
TOGS Week 22

On yet another mild sunny but very windy day the golf was surprisingly good.   Dave Archbold with 34 points beat David Bavaird by just a single point and he in turn had beaten Doug Walker, Bob Whitehead and yours truly on countback.   With a scoring average of 31 points in a 14 man field it was only the second time since the beginning of December that it had been 30+.

All of those players mentioned above, except for me, improved their totals.   Archie (+4), Willy (+5), Bob Whitehead posted his sixth score and the Cultured Caledonian maintained his recent form to crash through the 200 points barrier by 2 shots.

43 points:   Alan Higginbottom & Larry Page
42 points:   Dave Archbold & Willy Smith
41 points:   Graham Marsh & Bob Whitehead / Daz Ridley & Le Frenchman.

Whether these scores are anywhere near  the top of the leader board I have no idea, but they are good scores nonetheless.

Golf in Jan / Feb '08