Every time I tee it up whether in a medal or a friendly I record what happened to me and my partners.   Invariably there is a talking point or an incident which merits a few lines.   If the game passes without a hitch I will make something up anyway.

I make no apology to my playing partners as I call it as I see it.

FORE !!

Five Nations Golf 2007

Monday 31st December

Duncan McCree, Dave Archbold and I had a game of chairman and you will not be surprised to learn that the last putt by Duncan on the 18th green meant that we finished all square.

A good day's golf and a pleasurable way to end the year.

Saturday 29th December
TOGS Week 13

11 of us started out but none could manage to stay the course past the 8th hole due to heavy rain, so the TOGS was abandoned.   I no sooner got home and started to dry out when the sun came out.

Wednesday 26th December
Three Clubs and a Putter

As the name suggests this is a very interesting format and is the traditional fare at Tynemouth Golf Club on Boxing Day played as a medal round off full handicap.

We played as a fourball with Daz and I pitted against Le Frenchman and Archie best aggregate net on front, back and match plus birdies all at the bank holiday rate.   The match finished all square but as a result of our six birdies we had the luxury of consuming the home made soup (avec pain) at their expense.

My club selection was driver, four iron, pitching wedge and a magic wand which gave me my best gross and net score in ages.   77 gross - 65 net.   I honestly don't think it will be enough to win because although I scored four consecutive threes around the turn I also carded three sixes.   Regardless, I played pretty well and as ever enjoyed the company.   "I was just happy to be there!"

Saturday 22nd December
TOGS Week 12

On a bitterly cold and dreecht winter's day the Boggy body simply gave up.    By the time I reached the eighth hole I had to seek salvation in the warmth of the clubhouse and for only the second time since becoming a member in 2000 I failed to complete my round.  

Alan Ross went out in a blaze of glory before having his knee operation in a few days time which may prevent him playing another game in this season's TOGS.   He scored an incredible 34 points, playing off 8, on the coldest day of the season by far.   Rosco has posted a score of 220 points that most of us would settle for without hitting another ball and sees him looking down on the rest of us.

Alan has established  clear blue water from the pack and his nearest challengers are Le Frenchman 217, Dunc 216 and Daz with 214.

Today's only other cut was on Archie who improved his lowest score by three points and is now playing off 10.  

Thursday 20th December

Is it any wonder I was hopeless, considering I had not played since date below due to  bad weather and the Boggy Bug.   If I had realised beforehand I wouldn't have agreed to play my TOGS fourball match until I had at least one game under my belt.

Excuses out of the way, Rosco particularly and Archie occasionally played very well against me and Le Frenchman, who it has to be said was excellent and played virtually single-handedly on our behalf.

With the match all square at the 15th Le Frenchy and I couldn't better Rosco's four straight pars to finish.   Game over at the 17th, 2&1.

Monday 12th December

It is my great pleasure to report that the scones on offer today at Tynemouth Golf Club were magnificent.   The term 'scone' simply does not do these confections justice.   I would describe them as rock cakes.   Remember rock cakes?   Dunc, Le Frenchman and I all struggled to wolf them down before our tea turned cold but being the troopers we are, managed eventually to leave three clean plates.

As for the golf, Le Frenchman and I came back from the dead to beat Daz and Dunc at a canter, making the giant scones and ten gallon pot of tea taste all the sweeter.

Saturday 8th December
TOGS Week 10

For the first hour and a bit conditions were OK but then it turned cold and started to chuck it down, which made scoring very difficult.   All credit to Daz on two counts (i) For accepting last week's disqualification with good grace (ii) Playing some brilliant golf today.   His 37 points not only gave him a 4 point victory over Ed (cut to 4) but means he is playing the rest of the season off scratch (at least).  He cruises into 4th place with a total of 214.

David Bavaird's 32 points was a particularly noble effort in the conditions to secure third place.   Dave Rowntree and Tony Sarginson with a pair of 31's and Alan Higginbottom (30) were the only other players to break the 30 points barrier.  

Winter golf has definitely arrived.

Wednesday 5th December

Just as in the saying about three buses coming along at once when you have waited ages for one to arrive, so it is I played with Larry the rock star again for the third time in 5 days not having  played a round with him for the best part of six months.   It has been a pleasure and a privilege and he seems keen to play with me again soon.

In a seven strong field it was Larry and I who battled for the cream cake.   It came down to a putt by Larry on the last green, as often happens, which he missed by inches and I won by 42 points to 41 with the rest of the field way back in the low 30's.  

Larry being a musical maestro had a Steinway in his hallway which was in the way and needed a hand shifting it following the golf.   Laurel and Hardy look-alikes, Duncan, Le Frenchman and big Al were on hand for the audition and without any humming and hawing completed the task.

Latest info re TOGS Week 9:   It seems that Paul and Daz's scores will be deleted from the current league table as a result of their innocent indiscretion on Saturday.   This will elevate Larry to first place and his handicap reduced to 13.   Archie should be promoted to second place and be cut from 12 to 11.   This has to be confirmed by Willy but it is how I understand the situation at time of writing.

Monday 3rd December

In a fiercely fought fourball of Archie and Le Frenchman versus Larry Page and me, I have great pleasure in reporting a victory for the rock star and me.   We ended up winning half a scone (without butter) because our front, back and diddle was all but cancelled out by their 2 birdies.   The standard of the golf today was very high and our better ball score must have been 1 under or par.

Saturday 1st December
TOGS Week 9

Another quiet non eventful day in the life of the TOGS.   The participants of "I'm a Celebrity ...Get Me Out of Here!" during their stay in the jungle had a simpler smoother time of it.

To place or not to place in the rough ?    That is the question.  

I didn't, nor did anyone else in my fourball, Doug Walker, Larry Page and Tony Sarginson, did you?   As far as I am concerned the sign on the first tee box was clear enough and unambiguous.   'Mark, clean and place on the fairway:   Mark, clean and drop within six inches in the rough'.  

The scores as posted for Week 9 are therefore subject to a ruling by the committee of TGC.   If players are disqualified from the Christmas Fayre competition because they placed the ball in the rough and therefore in breach of above rule, then they have to be disqualified from the TOGS too I would suggest.

I await further instructions, meanwhile have posted the up to date scores as recorded in clubhouse.

The leaders in the clubhouse for the Christmas Fayre competition are Paul Keenan and Daz Ridley with 44 points.

The 'winners' of TOGS Week 9 are 1st: Paul Keenan.    2nd: Daz Ridley.

Oh maaan!

Update (3rd December):   PK and Daz were disqualified for a breach of the rules.  

Wednesday 28th November

Seven of us played for the sweep of front, back and diddle.   Le Frenchman with 21 on the front and Rosco with 23 on the back and 43 for the match cleaned up.   My 39 points was pretty good but yielded diddly squeak.   Oh maaan!

The Cultured Caledonian and I had a fourball against Rosco and Raff and came off second best in that contest too.   Rosco feeling generous and glowing with pride following his victory kindly paid for the tea and scones.   Never let it be said, "......

The others in the first group with the Gallic chap were Daz and Dunc.

Very enjoyable, thank chaps.   Incidentally, we teed off just after 10am and were sitting down in the clubhouse at 1.20pm.   What is it that goes wrong on other days?   That was a rhetorical question only as I wouldn't like to offend the slowcoaches.  

"Oh no I wouldn't!"!

Monday 26th November

Archie and I joined forces with Gordon Smith and Brian Liddle as we were the only ones playing out today.   It was a pleasant change as both GKS and Brian are excellent company.

The balls came down with me partnering Gordon and we had a handsome victory 5&4.   Brian who was a professional footballer in his younger days with Lincoln City is a very sprightly 81 years old and still has a good game going.  He has to play in a buggy these days but is nevertheless a remarkable bloke and it was great to chat with him again.   I still took his cream cake though.

Sunday 25th November

Nipped out for a quick half and a game of Chairman with Le Frenchman and Dunc.   Sadly DMC nipped home with our pound in his pocket.

Saturday 24th November
TOGS Week 8

Duncan McCree, playing off an already much reduced handicap (4) topped today's scores (35) and inches into a one shot lead over Le Frenchman at the top of the table with 216 points but had to sacrifice 2 more shots from his handicap and is now playing off 2, making him the lowest ranked player.    Well done Dunc.   He will have to play superb golf to increase his total from here but has 18 weeks in which to do it.

Alan Higginbottom played well to finish in second place after countback from Graham Marsh with 33 points.   Both players surge into the '200 Club' having now posted six scores.   Al, with a lowest score of 25 has room to manoeuvre from his current sixth place and Boggy leaps into fourth spot (209 points) behind Rosco 214.

Today's average of 30 points was the lowest of the season and only Dave Archbold and Le Frenchman from the rest of the field broke 30 points.   It was, as Bob Johnson  might say, " A bit dreecht  with plenty of skitey bits about".

Saturday 17th November

Three players scored 39 points today and after a complicated countback were separated thus;   1st DMC, 2nd  PK* and 3rd Digby's best mate*.   So they are cut by 3, 2 & 1 shot respectively.   Nice one Tony*.

Alan Higginbottom with an excellent score of 38 points playing off 8 is also cut a further shot down to 7 and that was it today.    Other notable performances were put in by  one of my playing partners, the Cultured Caledonian with a 36 and Daz and Rosco added 35 each to their already not inconsiderable totals.

DMC improved his total by a whopping 10 points to join Le Frenchman at the top of the table and Rosco, having now posted six scores, leaps into third spot with 214.   Two other players who have now completed six rounds also join the '200 Club', namely Tony Sarginson (200) and Larry Page (202).

Steve Todd nearly got 0.5 of a shot back but on checking the past scores he was 10th in Week 4.

Wednesday 14th November

Seven of us played in the sweep and Ed Stothert swept the board with best front nine, best back nine and the match with 18, 19 and 37 respectively.  

In my fourball it was Le Frenchman and I against Daz and Ed.   Needless to say we lost but put up some token resistance to win the back nine and save a bumper payout.   We were also three birdies down but won't mention that.   The other three protagonists were Raff, DMC and Big Al.

I scored 36 points with a 17 & 19 so halved the back nine with Ed now I come to think about it.   Have we overpaid or is my non existent memory letting me down again?

Saturday 10th November
TOGS Week 6

Due to the Sunderland v Newcastle Utd derby match there were four early starters today and they definitely got the worst of the weather conditions.   Early morning rain eventually stopped at around 11am but the damage was already done, so Larry, DMC, Tony and Bill Fletcher occupy four of the last five places today having started and finished in the rain.

As a result Le Frenchman took full advantage with 35 points to open up a 10 point lead at the top of the table over DMC, 215 to 205.   The first four players to complete six rounds are all  past the 200 points mark with Eddy third on 202 and Daz on 201.  

Le Frenchman bagged four birdies, is cut 3 shots to 7 hcp and will definitely be in the shake up at the end of the season because he now has 20 weeks to knock off his worst score of 31.

Boggy was the only other player to be cut today by 1 shot  with a 35 point total which just edged out Dave Rowntree on countback.   Willy and Rosco both returned respectable 34's, Ed posted today's average score of 32 and  Tony Sarginson being the only other payer to score 30+.

As each player completes six rounds the table takes on a different complexion but I reckon the winning score is going to be approximately 222, which is the equivalent of 6 x 37.

Wednesday 7th November

Le Frenchman and I were on top form as we annihilated Vic and Alan Higg by 4&3. In winning the front, the back and the match with three birdies we ate sumptuously in the clubhouse as we feasted on mince and dumplings and bangers and mash in thick gravy respectively.   Vic was last seen munching a packet of crisps as he sped away from the club with a blanket covering his head to hide from the paparazzi.

Monday 5th November

I was put firmly back in my place when I played Eddy Stothert today.   Ed won on the last hole as we played our own matchplay championship in very difficult conditions.   I have to say the best man won and I had no problem in supplying the cakes.

Saturday 3rd November
TOGS Week 5

A massive field of 16 TOGS produced an average score of 36  points on another ideal scoring day.   The condition of the greens, it must be said, is magnificent and they are a pleasure to put on.

Our first TOGS champion Doug Walker made the most of a perfect scoring day to win on countback from Eddy Stothert with 43 points.   They are cut by 4 and 3 shots to 15 and 5 handicap respectively.   

Defending champion looking to threepeat is Willy Smith and he is not going to give up his crown without a fight judging by his first two scores, 37 and a 41 today.   Larry Page also posted a 41 and both are cut by 2 shots.   Three other players are chopped by 1 shot today Dave Rowntree with a 38 point haul and yours truly Graham Marsh with a 39 which was matched by Bill Fletcher.

Wednesday 31st October

'Three Doz.' Dunc and I handed out a beating to the hapless Frenchman and Daz that could possibly scar them for life.   Ok at least until next week.  

We won the front, the back, the match, the side, the top, the bottom and best of all the tea and scones.   Birdies, remarkably were all square at three apiece.   On the 11th, Daz and Frenchy both got birdie two's and for the only time in the match they had a sniff of the scone.   The aroma was short lived as Dunc and I took the lead back immediately.

For the record the scores were, Daz 34, Frenchy 36, DMC 38 and Boggy 40.   Alas these were nowhere near enough in the 11 strong field because Alan Higginbottom turned up to take the pot with an magnificent 45 points.   

Monday 29th October

I enjoyed a game with Raff in the autumn sunshine and am happy to report that we teed off at 9am and I was back in the house at five minutes after the noon pips counting my winnings.

Sunday 28th October

'Three Doz.' Dunc pulled a rabbit from the hat on the 18th green with a thirty foot birdie to square the match so that yet another game of 'Chairman' went all the way.   Much to the delight of Le Frenchman and yours truly's utter disbelief.   I did have a fifteen footer for a birdie of my own but could not see the hole properly as my eyes were welled up with tears having watched Dunc's putt disappear like a rat up the proverbial.

Saturday 27th October
TOGS Week 4

No whopper scores were posted today but the average of 35 points in a field of 11 players is pretty good.   Daz came out on top with 38 and is now playing off a handicap of 3 which will test his game over the coming weeks.

A collective sigh of relief went up in the clubhouse when my score of 37 points was deemed the second best of the day on countback (23 points on the back nine) so Boggy is cut 2 shots down to 10hcp.  

Our defending champion Willy made a very respectable start to his defence with the same score and immediately loses a shot, likewise Le Frenchman and Rosco, who was making his third appearance and was chopped for the third time down to 8hcp.

Eddy Stothert seems to have come to terms with his club handicap of 8 and shot a steady 36 and Alan Higginbottom added the same number to go with his 43.   Meanwhile 'three doz' Duncan quietly posted  34 points to keep him as the early season hare with 142 points.

Steve Todd and  Dave Rowntree scored 30 & 32 respectively and it is welcome back to our Cultured Caledonian who scored 29 points first time out this season.

Wednesday 24th October

In a field of eight I played in the last group with Daz and came in with 38 points which was good enough to win the pot.   This new driver of mine makes an awful din when I hit it but has definitely given me another 30 yards in length.   Yes, I know it is winter and from the yellow tee boxes the course is much shorter and half decent scores can be cobbled together when not playing particularly great golf, especially on mild sunny days like today, so I am looking forward to teeing it up next season following a winter's practice.

Monday 22nd October

Playing 'chairman' with Archie and Bob Johnson (10hcp) an unusual event occurred.   Bob won by 2 clear holes and the game was up at the17th, this despite me notching three birdies.

Saturday 20th October
TOGS Week 3

Rosco has done it again.   He blew the rest of the field and the course away with a stunning 44 points.   He is the only player to better this mark, which he did a couple of seasons back with a 45 point haul.   All Al needs to do now is post a few 35's and 36's and he, like Alan last week, will not be far away.

Paul Keenan making his first appearance this season scored an equally impressive 40 points and is immediately cut to 13hcp.  

The player everyone has to beat is last season's form player AKA Duncan McCree.   DMC is quietly putting together a string of 36's, so far he has scored three in a row, and 6 x 36 = 216 which was good enough to win last season's title.   I reckon the winning score will be nearer 220 this time out so there is still hope for us all yet.  

Defending champion Willy Smith has yet to begin his defence and things will start settling down once everyone has posted six scores which is a few weeks away yet.   Isn't this fun?

Wednesday 17th October

Duncan and I were deprived of our sticky bun for finishing three ahead of the pack today by some Mickey Mouse ruling foisted on us at the denouement in the clubhouse.  

It is my understanding that playing for a £1 sweep means just that.   Somehow I seem to be mistaken.   That I did not query this in the clubhouse was to my credit and also saves on my blood pressure reading.

Our playing partner in today's round was Digby's best mate, Tony Sarginson, once again reunited with his favourite clubs following their solo circumnavigation of the globe.   Duncan and I both scored a healthy 38 points for 17 holes which should have been good enough to secure the sticky bun with jam.  

Alas this was not the case.  Please discuss.

Tuesday 16th October

Along with Le Frenchman and Archie we completed 18 holes of 'chairman' and finished as we started, all square.   This is an excellent format for three players and rarely produces a runaway victory.

Saturday 13th October
TOGS Week 2

Looking at the scores it seems that Alan Higginbottom had a fantastic round, coming home with 43 points, the third highest score in TOGS history.   Only Rosco with a 45 and Boggy with a 44 bettering Alan's score.   That he is chopped from 12 down to 8 is a price he must pay for such excellence.    He needs some 35's and 36's to go with the whopper haul and he will surely not be far away at the end.

Digby's best mate, Tony Sarginson is cut by 2 shots to12hcp following his excellent 39 points.   Was he playing with his long lost but recently returned clubs I wonder?   Larry and Le Frenchman come down by 1 shot following their 38's and Daz and Doug are also cut by 1 shot each as a result of a pair of 37's.  

Duncan quietly added another 36 points without being cut and along with Daz, Larry and Le Frenchy are past the 70 mark after just two weeks which is impressive.

Wednesday 10th October

Played golf with the vacationing Willy, Vic and Geordie Wood a recently joined member of Tynemouth Golf Club.   George plays off 24 and is relatively new to the game.

What must he think when long standing members, correction a long standing member, in the group behind starts shouting from 150 yards back on the second fairway, yes the second fairway, to hurry up.  

That we were only playing the second hole and could not possibly have played any faster at that point in the round is beyond doubt and unknown to the heckler behind we had already agreed between us to let the fourball through at the par three third so that George would not feel rushed.

I detest slow play as much if not more than anyone but the behaviour of the goon behind us was unforgivable and he was lucky that George did not walk back down the fairway and give him a cuff round the lughole.

As we were playing the 10th this same impatient golfer walked past us back to the clubhouse and off the course annoyed at the fact that his playing partners had let someone through.  That they were a two ball and in a buggy had no significance to him.   It seems that certain members of TGC think they can do what they like and etiquette is a foreign word which they could not even spell never mind comprehend.

Methinks Bill Nicholson would not have approved.

Monday 8th October

Le Frenchman, Willy and I made up a fourball with a bloke called Colin at Burgham Park up in Northumberland today and I have to say it was a wonderful experience.   The course is spread out over acres of beautiful countryside, is well laid out and manicured to perfection and is well worth a visit.

That me and Frenchy played well is incidental.    If you haven't played this course yet give it a try.  I promise you will not be disappointed.

Saturday 6th October
TOGS Week 1

We kicked off the new season in beautiful sunshine with no wind and it was very warm.   For some reason, unknown to the competition committee, play was from the white 'medal'  tee boxes.

Scoring was therefore relatively low for such a benign day which proves how much easier it all is playing from the yellow markers.   Duncan McCree and Rosco, fresh from their recent tour to France, continued in a rich vein of form and could only be separated on countback with a pair of 36's, DMC prevailing and is immediately cut 2 shots to 7 handicap, Rosco is 13.

Larry and Le Frenchman fired good solid 35's which will count in the end and  others in the 30's were Bill Fletcher, Daz, Steve, Bob Whitehead and yours truly, Boggy.    Today's average score was 31 and with the new scoring system in place those who score 37+ and 40+, other than first and second, will be cut.

Congratulations to Steve and Sandy on their recent marriage from all of The TOGS.

The draw for the singles and doubles has also been made but because I am going out this evening you will have to wait to see the full draw.  

If in doubt about anything, please remember that  I do this as a service for all of us, check with Oor Willy.   The bookies reckon the winning score this season will be 220+ as a result of the tweaks to the scoring system.

Golf in July - September